From Death to Life

Ephesians 2:4-5

But God, being rich in mercy,

because of the great love with which he loved us,

even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive

together with Christ—by grace you have been saved

Practicing pediatrics in the US one can feel like we win all the time. Relatively few children die in the US and it’s a rarity and tragedy to find a mother who’s had to bury a child.  In Togo, it’s hard to find a mother who hasn’t buried a child, at least one.  In fact, many groups don’t give a name to their infants until the 8^th day, or sometimes until the first month, to avoid giving a name to a child that won’t survive.

I’m not sure how many of you have seen a dead person in real life. Not at a funeral when the dead are made to look alive somehow, but someone in the rawness of death. When it takes place in a hospital, it is often not beautiful nor peaceful. There is an ugliness to death that makes the witnesses feel violated and stolen from.  After a short time, it is also obvious. There is no confusion whether a person is dead or not.

For there is nothing in common between the dead and living.

The Word of God often describes us as dead. I think it’s a misunderstanding of this death that leads us to believe that we are better than we are, or that Christ’s love and sacrifice for us is somehow not as awesome as it is.  We believe that this death He speaks of is actually more like a peaceful, sleeping child whose mother comes in at night to tuck her child’s swooping curls behind her ear, afraid to wake her.  This leads us to think, “of course God has great love towards us, who wouldn’t want to swoop up a sleeping child in their arms—especially God!”

But the death that God speaks of is nothing like this. The actual idea is that of being pulled up out of a grave, a grave that we’ve been in for our entire lives.  This is the comparison made when Christ looks upon us, loves us anyway, and delivers us—

a rotting, cold, lifeless corpse. And what corpse could bring itself back to life?

One of my jobs here in Togo is to fight against physical death. It’s a losing battle. Even if I win today, I will always lose in the end.  No one has ever defeated death—except one.  And Christ makes us alive.  To fight for physical life without fighting for spiritual life is like pulling a corpse out of the grave and placing him in a tomb.  That’s why we’re here—to share a love that brings people from death to life. Not to force or manipulate, but to wait for God to move, for the Lord to pull people out of the grave and praise Him for it.

Isaiah 25:8

He will swallow up death forever;

 and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces

-K

PS: I appreciate everyone’s prayers for string of unfortunate events (broken computer, then phone, then computer, then internet, then a bout of malaria). If the Lord is trying to teach me something, I’m trying to listen. And if Satan is trying to discourage me, I’m not, which I’m sure is thanks to all of your prayers. This ministry could not continue without the sustaining prayers of all of you. I’m deeply grateful for all of you.

Rejoice with those who Rejoice

I saw this sweet little boy 4 weeks ago when our surgeon, Todd Dekryger, called me in to his clinic room. As soon as we looked at him we new that he most likely had Burkitt Lymphoma--a type of cancer that is endemic to Africa for reasons that aren't fully understood. The cancer is named after Dr. Denis Parsons Burkitt who was a medical missionary in Kampala, Uganda and first described the tumors extensively as a problem throughout the country.
He had been brought it by his older brother who explained that this mass had appeared over the course of a month, but they had visited fettish healers prior to coming to the Hospital of Hope.

He was admitted to the hospital the next day for a biopsy and some blood work. Thanks to the wonderful Pathology Department at St. Joseph's Hospital in Ann Arbor, MI we were able to send off the biopsy to be diagnosed at no charge.  But since the biopsy has to be hand-carried back to the states by a visitor leaving HOH, chemotherapy treatment is started despite not being 100% sure of the diagnosis. At the beginning of treatment we have a very serious discussion with the family. The child must stay for about a week the first time, then return once a week for four weeks to continue treatment. After one month, treatments are spread out to every 3 weeks, including a 2 day hospital stay each time. The course of treatment can be exhausting and is very expensive. Because there is always a chance that the family won't return after a few weeks, I explain to them that if they are faithful to their appointments, the hospital will share the cost of their treatment. But if they stop coming early, the family will be responsible for the entire cost. I realize this might sound very harsh to some, but it can be very difficult to come by these medications, and if a patient stops mid-treatment, all has been wasted and can't be used for a future patient.

Thankfully, the tumor began to respond to treatment in a matter of DAYS and the family could witness the healing of their son and brother before their eyes. He has been faithful to his last 3 visits and today when he arrived, he was completely transformed to his old self! (So much so that I had no idea who he was when a nurse notified me he was here for treatment!)

This cutie is actually only 1 of 5 children going through chemotherapy treatment here at HOH. These treatments can only be successful when we are able to support families (in-part) and when the hospital is able to purchase needed chemotherapy drugs. If you are interested in directly helping with either patient care, or the purchase of needed medications, thankfully there are two accounts set up through ABWE exactly for these reasons!

The Lord is doing mighty things here in Mango, and this is just one of many. Although each week we often experience the searing pain of loss, we are also blessed to experience the sweet joy of healing!
We could not continue this work without your faithful prayers and support, and we thank the Lord for YOU daily!

www.abwe.org/give
Pediatric Patient Care Fund: 0763833-001
Chemotherapy Fund: 0763833-002

Africa Has Candy

 

Have you ever gone on a missions trip? Have you made your packing list weeks in advance and made sure to leave room for things like candy to hand out to children you pass on the street or in villages? I would argue that almost all of us who have traveled to the developing world have done just that. I know I have.

But I'll let you in on a little secret. Africa has candy. A lot of it. In fact, if you go into a small boutique here in Mango, you can find that at least one-third of what they are selling is some type of candy. Ginger candy, chewing gum, mints, fruit-flavored hard candy, cookies....the list goes on! The funny part is that most of the children prefer this candy to the things we bring over from the US. Our American candy is often too sweet, or have flavors or textures they are familiar with at all (and don't want to be for that matter!)

Unfortunately this phenomenon has led even the smallest village children to immediately start demanding candy from any Westerner that happens to walk by.  So why do they do this if they already have access to all the candy they would ever want or need? Why are they asking us for candy, when they may not even like it as much as the candy sold for 1 cent down the street? I believe it's because when we give them something, even something they already have, they assume it's better. It must be better since it's from America, right? They start to long for something they never thought they were missing, and weren't missing in fact.

We have a very sweet American radiology tech named Michaelle here at HOH. I love her for so many reasons, but what I think is the most amazing is that she hands out candy to kids after their Xrays. And while this seems to undermine my previous 3 paragraphs, it actually doesn't, because she hands out small pieces of candy that she buys from a local store here in Mango. The candy is familiar and accessible, because of course, who doesn't want a piece of candy after they stayed real still for their X-ray?!

All this is to say that Togo, and many parts of Africa, have their own candy. Meaning, they aren't missing something just because they don't have exactly what we have. If I were to ever write a book at the end of my experiences overseas, I would title it, "Africa has candy", and write about all the incredible resources, physical and non-physical, that these countries already possess.  Kids are kids, no matter where they are in the world. They have their own ideals of what is fun, silly, and sweet! Of course, this idea is not just about candy, but I think you get the idea. An idea that came to me while I was sitting on my porch one day and was having a wonderful time with the children that live at my house. As they were trying to take some" selfies" I just kept thinking about how children in the US would be acting the same way--making faces, laughing, comparing photos with one another. We laughed until our bellies hurt. While there are things in life they are in need of, I don't ever want them to think that they are missing out on something.

There is MUCH to say about the hospital and things going on, but I will save that for a post next week. I thought I'd give you a glimpse into my life away from the hospital and at my home where I share a living space with  6-12 Fulani adult woman and children and any given time. (99% of them are NOT French speaking, but only speak Fulfulde, which I am trying my best to learn rapidly!) They have become my Togo family. I'm very thankful that the Lord has allowed me to share life with this extended family, and that despite the peaks and valleys of emotion at the hospital, there is always joy waiting for me at home.

Wind and the Waves

I wish you could all be here with us in Mango. Not because I would put you to work (although I probably would!) but because writing about life here is sometimes just as disappointing as standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and taking a picture with your phone. As you try and share your experience through the small photo, everyone around you nods in delight but you know they can't actually grasp what you saw in person.

That's because beauty comes from the movement of your soul, not the image before your eyes.

The Hospital of Hope is beauty--not because the tiles are shiny and the equipment is new, but because the hundreds of stories taking place inside every day stir your soul. Sometimes that stirring is joy and hope, and other times it's crushing.

We have had four deaths in the hospital so far, and all have come out of Pediatrics--severe malaria in a 2 and 4 year old, a newborn born several hours away who had gone too long without oxygen, and our first infant born via C-Section who was diagnosed with a irreparable congenital heart defect hours later.

It doesn't take much for discouragement to try and overtake you after spending a full 24 hours working, praying, pleading for the life of another person only to lose the battle. I've thought to myself more than once this week, "how can I welcome this woman to the Hospital of Hope when she just lost her only child on my watch?"

I've actually been through this before, after moving to Togo for the first time in 2012--Death, discouragement, doubt.

I told a family that their new baby boy, hours old, would only survive a few more hours due to a heart that wasn't formed right. I openly struggled to get through a prayer for them afterwards. Tears from fatigue and disappointment were unstoppable. Afterwards, the family told me that is was God who decided for it to be this way. I took a moment to figure out who was comforting who.

As I walked away, I approached our new, young 17 year-old mother of premature twin girls. Life was passing from one room and entering into the other. I sat and held one of the twins for a few moments in amazement of God's grace on this young mom and these tiny girls.  The juxtaposition was almost too much to take in and I walked outside to breathe in some cool night air. The 3am night sky was still as I sought peace that could only come from the Lord.

Moments later a strong wind came through for only about a minute, then calmed. The lyrics to a beautiful song immediately came to me:
So let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name. 

When Jesus stilled the storm from within the boat as he traveled with the disciples, they saw Him next to them, but they couldn't fix their eyes on the power that was before them.

Death can feel like an inescapable power that is ever before me here. An enemy that always wins at some point. But there isn't one life that passes into or out of this world without the word of the Lord, and it's beautiful. It's all beautiful.

I praise the Lord for letting me be here to see it all, to be moved by it all. Pray for me as I breathe it all in. Please pray for all of us here, whose purpose and joy is to bring the message that Christ has conquered death, and he is longing for all to pass from death into life.


**Song mentioned is by Bethel- It is Well, Album: You Make me Brave**

All we can do

A photo taken during orientation for the hospital. We spent a week learning, getting to know one another, and having fun!

I'd like to meet the person who first said, "All we can do is pray" and smack him/her upside the head. I hear this phrase often and have very likely been guilty of saying it myself. It's usually said after doing through all of our human-derrived solutions for change or resolution and realizing they wouldn't work, or didn't work. As a last ditch effort we tag God on as our "P.S." at the end of the letter, just to remind people that we are Christians, and to show the Lord that we tried everything already.

Why do we do this?

The author of Hebrews said, "Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."
The Psalms remind us that "The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth."
The Lord told Jeremiah, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."

The Creator of the Universe, the Creator of YOU, wants to interact with you, love on you, meet your needs, reveal things to you, encourage you, and most of all, make Himself known to you. If prayer is a time to experience these things, why is it so often our after-thought?

One thing I have noticed most of all here in Mango is to expect the unexpected. Each day I have a goal, or a list of things to accomplish during the day, but not once has my day gone as I expected.
 "Get to the hospital early today to work on organize materials".......Flat bike tire on the way
 "I can get everything done today, but I don't have a minute to spare"....as I finish this thought, my
    phone rings. It's one of our nurses who's child is ill and is coming to my house so I can see them.
 "I will reply to all my e-mails tomorrow".....Internet goes down for 4 straight days.

I've learned to laugh at plans, at my plans. What if I just started the day in prayer, asking the Lord to show me what he needed me to do today, instead of me telling him what I was going to do today?
What would that day look like for me, for you?

Would we take 5 extra minutes to help someone who needed us? Would we take 30 extra minutes to sit before God in stillness so He could fill us up for the day? Would we be willing to throw our plans out the window and surrender to whatever God's plan was?

I'm amazed that I could possibly think I have the best plans for my day, my week and my life. Especially when I cannot know what will come in the next moment. Yet the Lord who is not bound by knowledge, power, or time wants us to spend time with him so that he can reveal small parts of this plan, His plan, to us!

It's true that "All we can do"...is pray.  I wish someone would have instead said, "We can all do prayer" or "We can do all with prayer". Then maybe it wouldn't be an afterthought at the point of our weakness, but instead a recognition of how we can join the Lord in what He wants to accomplish around the world.

I'm hoping you will join our team in Mango in fervently praying each day for the next 2 weeks as we count down to the opening of the Hospital of Hope. There is much to get done,  things that can only be completed and ready with God's miraculous hands.

We are having a Grand Opening Celebration on February 26th where many government officials (possibly the president of Togo) and the entire community will be in attendance. Our doors will open to see our very first patients on March 2. There are a lot of emotions both good and bad that are affecting us all, so please pray for wisdom and peace. Pray that we will keep our focus on why we are here!

-kel

P.S. There are many things I cannot publish on a public blog about life in Mango. If you want to know more about how to be praying for us, I have set up a "secret" group on Facebook where I will be sharing more specific prayer requests. If you want to be a part of this group, please message me through Facebook or e-mail me at faber@abwe.cc

New Beginnings

Nurse Afi and I with Charité and David--born at 27 weeks,
now 2 years old!

I'm back in Togo! To catch you up, I arrived in Togo on December 31st and was able to start the new year in Tsiko, visiting friends I hadn't seen in about 8 months. It was a very sweet time of seeing the nurses and new missionaries that had arrived since my departure. It was especially sweet to catch up with Bernadette and Grace. I was thrilled to find out that Berna's family, the Pariko family, will actually be moving up to Mango after this school year finishes, as their father has been employed as our hospital driver. I couldn't have been more excited, and Berna has told her family that she will be living with me.  I think she'll have to settle for living near by. :-)

Royal Blue happens to be the favorite color of most Fulani people.
Say hello to my new curtains as I attempt to decorate using this
bright color!

I was excited to finally make it up to Mango. The journey went well, and besides 2 of my suitcases being held hostage in Lomé customs for about 2 days, everything and everyone arrived safely. I was very much looking forward to finally moving in to my home and packing suitcases. I felt like somewhat of a nomad over the past few months and I was really to get settled. The Lord had other plans though. The wonderful family who I am living with decided that the home wasn't quite good enough and wanted to replace all the windows, and have the veranda tiled. While these are amazing upgrades to a home here, in my own impatience I must admit that I was sad. My dear friend Anna has been letting me stay with her (she only lives about 1-2 blocks away from my house) and I've really enjoyed spending time with her. Over the past 2 weeks I've been moving in little by little. I'm still awaiting the completion of some furniture, which will help me get settled. Please pray for WATER. Our home has wonderful INDOOR PLUMBING (YAY!) but the water company is refusing to turn in on until our family pays the equivalent of $600 "plus some other fees".  My family here strongly feels  that this is due to discrimination based on their tribe (the Fulani people are greatly discriminated against here, and in many countries across W. Africa). The water company says that the people who owned the property before them owed this money, so now it's our responsibility to pay it. It is not so much an issue of money, but of principle, and my family will not be giving in any time soon. Pray for wisdom and for the hearts and attitudes of those involved at the water company. I never realized how much I took clean water for granted until I didn't have easy access to it! For now, we have a well on the property and get city water from a public pump about a block away. 

Interestingly, I have heard several stories about neighboring tribes keeping the nearby Fulani groups from getting water. Wells are "held hostage" and these Fulani groups are forced to go without water, or forced to get water from the Oti River--a very large,contaminated river that runs through Mango. Pray that we will find ways to be a bridge in these factions and find a way to love people through water ministry. 

                                      THE HOSPITAL IS OPENING MARCH 2nd!!!!

Walking into the Hospital of Hope after being gone for 8 months was overwhelming. I stood in the Pediatric ward and just cried tears of joy and relief. I am overwhelmed by all the work and prayer that has gone into this project, and overwhelmed by how much there still is to get done. Please pray as we all work as a team to do what is necessary to get everything accomplished. Pray for some laboratory supplies that have been shipped from Europe to arrive in time for the opening. Also pray for the opening ceremony that is taking place on February 26th, as we believe the President of Togo will be in attendance, as well as the Prime Minister and the US Ambassador to Togo. 

BIRTHDAY LUNCH IN KARA (about 2 hours south of Mango)

YAY for birthday cake!

     I will write more very soon, as there is too much to tell, but I wanted to say a huge thank you to everyone who wrote e-mails and sent Facebook messages wishing me a Happy Birthday today. It was

                    a wonderful birthday filled with cake, friends, and lots of laughter.
And remember, you can sign up to receive updates of this blog automatically by typing in your email

                                                                          on the left!

                                                                     Grace and Peace

Good news! Mango now has a pizza place:
Isa's Pizza! 

Weather Report

How can you not love Togo?!

I am not one to write blogs that I like to call "Weather Reports"--lists of things I've been doing and will be doing over the last several weeks. But seeing that my last note was over 8 weeks ago, I will be making an exception!

September and October were filled with working, actually. Thanks to some very generous folks at Kosair Children's Hospital and University of Louisville Pediatrics Department, I was able to work about 20 overnight shifts in the Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Department. Many of you know that a long-time life goal I had was to practice Pediatric Heme/Onc, but life took me in another direction! Being able to once again take part in this area of US medicine was really wonderful, despite the overnight hours! The great news is that I was able to reconnect with some of the doctors who work in this area and meet the new director as well, who has shown interest in helping develop more sustained Heme/Onc treatments in Togo. This has been a long-standing need, so please pray as we work out the logistics of finding medications and the best possible diagnostic techniques. 

I was also able to reconnect with some amazing doctors and researchers in the U of L Neonatology Department. If you have been following me during my Togo journey, you are all too familiar with our volume of premature infants and newborn care. During a meeting with two of these wonderful people they asked if I had a transcutaneous bilirubinometer. This complicated term is basically a way to detect how jaundiced (or yellow) an infant is without having to take a blood sample. Because of our babies dark skin, jaundice can be difficult to see, but checking a blood level on every infant is cost-prohibitive. I told them that I did not have this machine but that I had been desperately hoping to obtain one for the past 3 years! This wonderful woman Paula replied, "I think I have one in my closet at work. Would you like it?" PRAISE THE LORD!!  Of course, I replied with a resounding YES! This amazing gift saved us thousands of dollars, so please pray that the Lord blesses the generosity of these folks! 

November started off with the Global Missions Health Conference-the largest Medical Missions conference in the world! Thankfully there were so many folks there who have served in Togo or will be serving in Togo, and we had a wonderful get-together one of the evenings that allowed everyone to meet and share stories.  

I also spent 2 weeks of November back at the ABWE office to complete my last official steps of training. It was a great time of reuniting with other Togo missionaries working hard towards getting to the field, as well as meeting so many others who are waiting to be sent out all over the world! We received some great training on conflict resolution, finances, spiritual warfare, and leadership. 

My very last steps to be completed before flying back to Togo are the completion of a New Testament and Muslim Studies class.  With my departure date approaching (December 29th!) I decided to move back home to Chicago in order to spend more time with my family.  With my medical license and sending church Sojourn being located in Louisville, it was where I needed to be during my time back home. I am looking forward to getting to spend more consistent time with my family over the next 4 weeks. One of my grandmothers' health is very poor and I will likely not see her again after I leave this time. 

It's always difficult to look ahead to all that I will miss out on being far away--track meets, basketball games, holidays, and school plays. But I know that I'm supposed to be in Mango. I know it with all that I am. I'm obviously not a parent but I do think I have a glimpse of what it's like to be one--loving each child with 100% of your heart. You cherish the sweet things about them while praying that the Lord will change the parts that need refinement. Meanwhile you can't imagine your life without them. 

My sister Patti and I with the Marshall Fields Clock in Chicago.
Although this store is now Macy's, we refuse to accept it!

This is a glimpse of what it's like to be a missionary in a foreign land. I want to be in Togo with every fiber that makes me whole. But I long for the same thing regarding being here in the US with my friends and family. I can easily list the beauty and horrors of each place, the pictures of grace and need for redemption on both sides of the ocean. I'm grateful to be living in a time where I don't have to choose one over the other. Missionaries no longer pack their belongings in a coffin and kiss their loved ones once and for all. I often joke that we live during a "wimpy" missionary time, where Skype and airline tickets are always at our fingertips. Maybe the Lord knew I needed to live now instead of back then. Maybe I wouldn't have gone. 

Please pray for my time remaining here in Chicago. Pray that I would spend it well and balance the preparations to go with the joy of spending hours with family. Pray for my upcoming transition back to Togo as I re-experience the culture shock of returning. Pray that I will transition well, and not overwhelmed by, my new living situation (I will be living in town on a small compound with a Fulani family, opposed to on the hospital compound). Please also pray for new prayer and financial partners. I am overwhelmed and grateful for everyone who has sacrificed to make my departure possible. It's only because of your prayer and gifts that I will be in Togo in time for the hospital doors opening. A few partners have had to step back which is leaving an opportunity for anyone who has considered monthly giving to join in! 

Please let me know how I can also be praying for you during this time! I consider it a privilege to be a part of petitioning the Father on behalf of you, as it brings me an opportunity to also Praise Him when those prayers are answered. 

You are loved. 


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