An aside.

This is NOT a normal blog for me…so beware !

But I feel that it is necessary to write, not only for me, but for many others out there who are like me (insert sarcastic comment: “Kelly, there is no one out there like you”)  haha. Ok, true.  Like me= Single missionary for this context.  Anyways……

I want to address a VERY COMMON conversation I have with people when they find out I am and will-be a long-term missionary in Africa.  It goes something like this:

Me: “Actually, I live in West Africa.”

Person: “ You LIVE there?!  Like forever?”

Me: “Well, at least until I feel the Lord asking me to live somewhere else”

Person: “Wow.  Well, are you married?”

Me: “Nope.”

Person: “Oh, so I guess you don’t want to get married.”

OR (version 2)

Person: “well how are you ever going to get married if you live in Africa?!

Insert my triple take, furrowed brows and look of confusion… followed by my sarcastic remark of:

“Oh yes of course, because there aren’t any men if Africa!” 

Now, this isn’t a blog about whether or not I want to ever get married; On the contrary.  It’s about obedience.   I believe that there is a passion given to each of us that comes from the Lord.  Not just the passion we have for the Lord, but a desire to use a particular talent, idea, or ability to further the kingdom of God.   I believe we can be most in line with the “mysterious will of God” when we honor the Lord through these things and give Him all the glory for what happens as a result.

So, when an opportunity comes to live out this God-given passion and gift, and it happens to take you to a difficult place, what is the correct response?  GO!!  When Jesus said to the disciples, “Come follow me,” they were expected to drop their fishing nets and follow him.  For the disciples to have responded, “I’ll be right there, I just need to finish building my house,”or “I’m coming!  I just want to do one more……”

I have met too many women (and men) who passionately want to reach the Nations for the Lord, who refuse to go because they won’t until they are married.  This mindset is troubling to me, and yet at the same time I have been there.   For me, at least, it came down to trust. 

Do I trust the Lord?

Do I trust Him to take care of me if I’m alone? 

Do I trust him to bring me a spouse anywhere I am in the world? 

Do I trust him if He NEVER brings me a spouse? 

The conversation at the beginning is a problem because it’s extremely discouraging for someone who is hoping to get married while trying to trust in the Lord by moving overseas as a single.  It’s also showing our small view of God to think he is limited by country borders or location when it comes to his sovereign will on who will be married.  It’s also assuming that everyone’s goal in life is to be married.

Maybe a better conversation would be:

Person: “Are you married?”

Me: “Nope.”

Person: “Well how can I help encourage you while you are overseas”

OR “Well tell me more about your ministry and the people you will be serving”

OR even “Are you nervous moving/living overseas as a single person?”

I think marriage is a amazing thing, created by God, to mirror Christ and His church.  And if two people desire to marry, and are passionately serving God in a way that is honoring to him, YAY!  But if getting married, or wanting to get married, ends up keeping you from fulfilling the passion for Serving Him that He has placed in your life, you need to ask yourself if you trust Him. 

In all honesty, I do hope to be married one day.  But, if I am single for the rest of my days, then I will trust that God had His purpose for it.  And maybe I was better able to serve Him as a single woman than I would have as a married one.   Because I KNOW I am in the right place.  And I’d rather die a single woman in Africa than live as a married woman anywhere else.   But thanks be to our God that those aren’t the only two choices! J

So if you know a single missionary, ask how you can encourage them or be a listener.  If you know a single person considering missions, don’t discourage them from going based on their marital status.   If you are already married, invite your single friends to hang out and not just to babysit your kids (although I don’t mind babysitting your kids, too!)  Let’s all find out how we can push one-another to be the active hands and feet of Jesus, and passionately serve Him in all the Nations!

How beautiful on the mountains....

This evening I found out that a boy named Bawa who has lived his life in Mango, Togo lost his lifelong battle with diabetes.  Upon meeting Bawa, even with my trained eyes, I would have guessed his age at about 12 at best.  The years of undiagnosed Type 1 diabetes stole his health, his vision and his manhood.  Although he was around 22, when he looked at me with his cataract-clouded eyes and wasted body, I couldn't help but want to carry him in my arms like a child.

A fellow missionary spent the last several months doing what she could to teach his widowed mother how to do insulin injections and adjust his diet.  They would use the little French mom knew, a small amount of Anafo, and a whole lot of hand motions to try and get all the ideas across.  Against all odds, Bawa actually started to gain some weight and carry some hope for the future.  His dream- to be able to go back to school.

When I was in Mango around 6 weeks ago, we heard that Bawa was taken to the local government hospital and hadn't woken up in days.  When we arrived, he had a blood sugar of 30 but the hospital didn't have any IV fluids that had sugar and he wasn't responsive enough to drink the juice we brought.     My fellow missionary who had been helping the family knew that we were in a losing battle.  We didn't have the resources, money or ability to care for Bawa, even if he got better this time.  We suggested that mom take him home and wrote the name of an antibiotic the family could try, if they could find the money.  We visited them in their 1 room, circular hut for the following few days.  His mom graciously and kindly tried to keep him clean when the small bits of porridge he ate seemed to exit as fast as it entered.  We prayed with him because we knew that our Father in Heaven could hear us, even if Bawa could not.  I left Mango prepared to get an email about his death in the following days.

But Bawa got better.  I knew there was nothing in that hut that could've saved him aside from God's grace.  We all praised the Lord--the Great Physician.

I got an email from my missionary friend yesterday that Bawa was once again in a coma and un-responsive, no matter what his sugar level was.  I thought "surely the Lord will save him again." But Bawa did not get better.  He will never return to school.

How are we, as believers in a loving God, supposed to respond to this?  I weep for Bawa, and the things he will never do.  I weep for myself, and the ever-present reminder that my profession is always a losing one, in the end.  I weep for the injustice of poverty and inequality of power.  And I weep for the unknown outcome of his eternal salvation.



Then the Lord said, "Before Abraham was, I AM". - John 8:58


"As the heavens are higher than the Earth, so are my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" - Isaiah 55:9

“I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted.

You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. "- Job 42:2-3


Our response: trust and humility in our Savior, the Creator and Redeemer of this universe. The fact is, God is weaving a tapestry that we can even begin to understand. Habakkuk complained and weeped over similar things, crying out to the Lord:


"How long, Lord, must I call for help,
 but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.
Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted."

The Lord's Response:

“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told"


While I acknowledge that their is a specific context of this Biblical text, it clearly shows that God's response to our weeping and cries of injustice in this world is not "get over it!"or to ignore it. He is saying, "I know you can't SEE it, but I have a wondrous PLAN. One so amazing that you couldn't even comprehend it if I tried to show it to you."


Our response: Faith and Obedience to the One who sees and knows all things. Christ said, "GO and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 18)


The Bawa's of this world need one thing. The same thing we ALL need. The saving grace and hope found in Jesus Christ. But "How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:14-15)


You don't have to GO to Africa. You don't have to BAPTIZE in the Euprates. You don't have to make a DISCIPLE in Yemen. Have beautiful feet wherever God has placed them.


I know that Bawa heard the Good News, and that gives me Hope. Hope that he is in the arms of the Savior. Weep for those that have not yet heard, and go give them hope...today.

Praises and Prayers

At risk of losing some people by the end….this might be a long one!  Of course, those of you who know me also know that short conversations are not my gift, so this blog should make you feel like I’m standing right in front of you! J

First, I’ll update you on some work going on here at our Southern Hospital (HBB) where I’ve been working all this time.  One great story from this month is that this cutie pie named Yaywra just finished 6 rounds of chemotherapy and seems to be in remission!  She presented with a HUGE abdominal mass and ended up having an ovary removed that was probably about 10cm in diameter.  Unfortunately there was still a lot of cancer left behind.  Thanks to a hospital in Michigan who does our pathology for free, we were able to determine that she had Burkitt Lymphoma.  This type of lymphoma is endemic to Africa (and happened to be first reported by Dr. Burkitt who was a medical missionary in Uganda many years ago).  The good news is that it is usually VERY responsive to chemotherapy and kids have about a 75% of living cancer free if they make through all the treatments.  Unfortunately here in Togo, we start chemo on patients and then they never come back to finish treatments.  This is partly due to a misunderstanding of the chronic nature of cancer, and in part due to the financial constraints of families.  (In government hospitals, if you don’t have the money to pay for treatment or medications AHEAD of time, treatment isn’t given!  This means: if you child comes to the ED very sick and needing medications, the doctors write a prescription for IV fluids, antibiotics, etc. and you have to go to the pharmacy immediately to buy them.  If you don’t have the money, your child won’t get treated—no matter what!)

To attempt to alleviate this problem, I have started to tell families that they won’t have to pay anything until the end of all 6 cycles.  If they come for all 6, the hospital Pediatric Benevolence Fund pays about 50% (or more) of the total bill.  If they stop coming after just a few, I tell them that they will owe the hospital the total amount.  Of course, this is very motivating to families and we have been able to improve our rates of chemo follow-up!  A HUGE thank you to those who contribute to the Peds Benevolence Fund!  Because of you, these kids can get treatment!  Please pray that Yayrwa will continue to be cancer free!

We also have 2 premature infants right now—John and Image (pronounced the French way “ee-maj).  They were born 1 day apart both at 28 weeks, and weighing in at 900 grams (1 pound, 15.5 ounces!)  Image came into the world in very difficult circumstances.  Here mom came into our hospital with an enormous jaw tumor that was about to close off her airway.  Our Surgeons immediately placed a Trach-tube so that she could breath easier.  There wasn’t any chemo to offer her, nor could a surgery be done.  After a couple days, she was becoming obviously worse, and our doctors had to make the difficult choice to deliver the infant via C-section despite her prematurity.  Sadly, about 12 hours later, her mom passed away.  In subsequent days, Image was left at the hospital alone.  Her family had left and we were unsure if they would return.  But amazingly, after 4 days, her paternal grand-mother came and has been at her bedside ever since.  This grandma actually has 9 children of her own (all living), so Image has a HUGE family with many aunts and uncles that will care for her.  In the days that followed her mother’s death, we got word that her dad actually tried to commit suicide out of despair over the loss of his wife.  Thankfully, he was not successful and has since made several visits to the hospital to see his little girl fighting and growing!  For the last 2 weeks he has brought be a bushel of fresh vegetables from his village as a “thank you”!  God is using this little girl to give a new Hope to her dad, Praise the Lord!  I have also started a Bible study with the grandmother, which has been a great joy! Please pray for these little premies to grow well and tolerate feeding.  They are at about 22 days and reaching a month is an important milestone.  (If they make it past 1 month, they usually survive.)  Pray for their families as they have to stay at their bedsides 24/7 and it can be very exhausting!

Lastly (in patient care news).  This little girl's name is Grace and she is the daughter of one of our employees.  She is 5 years old and has a repairable heart condition.  We are currently working hard to get her to the US (or another country) for surgery.  She does well, but frequently comes down with malaria or other tropical illness that aggravates her condition severely.  Please pray with us as we work towards finding her the best place to go while trusting in God's timing for all things!

Meeting with new friends on a recent trip to Mango

I also wanted to say a word about my future plans here in Togo.  As many of you know, I recently joined ABWE in order to become a full-time missionary/Pediatrician here in Togo!  The need here is so very great, and I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else (and I’m trying to avoid ObamaCare! J)  While the need is very great here at our Southern Hospital, we also have a hospital that is currently under construction in the Northern part of the country, in a city called Mango.   This is a town of about 50,000 who are mostly Muslim and have VERY little access to healthcare.  Due to it’s location, the hospital will actually serve people from the surrounding countries as well—Ghana, Burkina Faso, and Benin!  We are praying that the construction will be done in the fall 2014, and that the doors will be ready to open on JANUARY 8, 2015!!  I have had to make a difficult choice in whether I will stay and serve here in the South, or go North. 

I said that I love pictures of older people because their faces tell
a story.  This Fulbe woman heard me and said, "I'm old, you
should take my picture."

                                                                                                     

When I first joined Samaritan’s Purse they asked me where I wanted to serve.  I thought back to my trip to Nigeria that year, and how oppressive it felt to drive through the Northern part of the country.  I realized that my heart was to serve in Muslim ministry somewhere in West Africa.  The town of Mango is within the famous “10/40 window”.  This is the area of the world that sits between 10 and 40 latitudes; within it lies the majority of the world’s poverty and unreached people groups.  What is an unreached people group?!  This is the term given to a group of people united in language and culture, who don’t even have access to hearing the Gospel.  It does not just refer to people groups who aren’t Christians, but instead to groups who have never even had the opportunity to hear about Christ.  One if these such groups is called the Fulbe (or Fulani), who are a Nomadic tribe found throughout West Africa comprised of about 20 million people spread over 19 countries and 99% Muslim.  This group of people is looked down upon by the tribes around them, as they are seen as refusing to conform to groups around them, living in “the bush” and maintaining century-long traditions.  Their lives as herdsmen are tightly tied to their cattle and being able to keep their cattle healthy is a huge opportunity for ministry (ANY VETS OUT THERE WANTING TO SERVE IN TOGO?!) Each smaller Fulbe tribe also carry their own traditions that can vary widely.  One of my good Fulani friends is part of a tribe that is not allowed to sing!!  I am praying for the day that I might hear her sing sweet words of Praise!

Pray for the over 300,000 people in Northern Togo who are considered a part of unreached people groups.  Pray for the hospitals in Togo and we continue to need people to serve both Northern and Southern ministries in Medical (Doctors, Nurses, Pharmacists, Lab Technicians, Xray/Echo techs), Administrative, Church Planting, IT, and Accounting!!  Pray that as I continue to raise support, I might be able to return to Togo by Jan 2015, in time for the opening of the hospital.

A HUGE THANK YOU to the 10 people who have already committed to monthly or yearly giving, as well as the 8 people who have given one-time gifts!  These have already put me at 40% of my needed support!  What a great encouragement this has been!  Many thanks to those of you who have committed to prayer, as this is truly how the Lord works, so that we may be a part of HIS ministry to the Togolese.

Grace and Peace-

4 countries, 4 states, 6 weeks

SO......i'm the worst blogger ever.  As you can see, I totally skipped the month of July...oops!  I actually spent about 6-7 weeks traveling outside of Togo for various reasons.  First, I headed from Togo to Ghana in order to fly to France and joined a group from my home church (Sojourn Church, Louisville, KY) for a missions trip.  It was an awesome time of getting to see and meet people from home while serving the Lord in another place.  I would LOVE to talk about what we did in France, but actually, I can't. :-)  The organization that we work with is involved in ministry that is better left.........a little under-cover.  BUT pray for the missionaries in Southern France--God is doing a great work there!

Other than my family, I think these 2 miss me the most!

My niece Harley- now 2 years old! She was a few
months old when I left the US

After a week or so with my church, I was able to meet up with some close friends and explore Southern France a bit, and return to Switzerland to visit my old stomping ground where I did language school for 5 months.  It was all a sweet time mixed with a little western life culture shock, but I was thankful for it.

I then headed to the US where I had the opportunity to see my family.  My sister Patti actually had NO IDEA I was even coming to the States, so I dressed up as a Starbucks barista and totally surprised her!  It was probably the BEST surprise E.V.E.R!! (see my facebook page for the video!)
I got the chance to see my nieces and nephews who had grown so much since I left the US.  My nephew Luke, 13 years old, is now taller than I am!  The time went fast, but I savored it, as the trip to the US was unexpected.

After a few days in Louisville as well, I headed off to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which was actually the purpose of my trip to the States.  As I have spent about 15 months in Togo, I realize that this is where I would like to continue to serve the Lord with the skills and heart He has given me, in both medicine and for the Togolese people.  I decided to start the process of becoming an official long-term missionary with ABWE (Association of Baptists for World Evangelism), which is the organization that runs our hospital.  As most of you know, I am currently employed by Samaritan's Purse.  This organizations supports my expenses on the field and any money raised goes towards ministry expenses (like the Pediatric Benevolence Fund).  In April, my time with Samaritan's Purse will end and I will be leaving Togo to return to the U.S. and continue to raise support.   If I have 50% of my support raised by July, and 85 % of my support raised by November, there is a chance I could be back in Togo by January 2015.   Of course, I realize that God has bigger (and often different) plans than I can often see, so I am praying for patience and flexibility through this process!

This is a picture of all the new ABWE heading to Togo in the
next few years.  Pray for all of us as we start pre-field training
and support raising!

I am hoping that some of you might prayerfully consider joining me on this journey through financial support.  In order to come back to Togo, I will need $3500 per month of committed support.  I'm looking for people who can start supporting now and those who could also commit to starting in April.  I'm praying that some individuals and/or churches may give $10 per month and others $500 per month.  Follow along in the months and year to come (with my fun thermometer on the left side of my blog page) and see what can
happen when we join together!  The Lord has gifted us and equipped us in different ways, and I look forward to sharing more with you in the months to come, of how you can be a huge part of Christ's love being shared here in Togo.

Thank you SO VERY MUCH to those of you who have already supported me throughout my time here: care packages, encouraging e-mails and letters, finances, PRAYER, and so much more.  God provides for me daily through YOU!

Grace and Peace

"Where O death is your Victory? Where O death is your sting?"

Abiba, a 15 year old orphaned Muslim girl, along with her aunt and cousin, arrived at HBB in mid-January.  From a Small village 3 hours north of the hospital, they heard about HBB from a mobile médical team that had gone to their village.  When Abiba developed a mass in her abdomen, they knew HBB was where they should go.

Abiba’s inital assessment and diagnostic testing indicated she had an ovarian tumor requiring surgery.  Once in the operating room, the surgeon found that her abdomen was actually full of metastatic cancer.  A large tumor was removed and sent out to a Michigan pathologist who processes our spécimens for free.

After the surgery, one of our full-time missionaries along with one of our chaplains met with Abiba and her family members.  They gently, yet thoroughly explained the seriousness of her prognosis, metastatic ovarian cancer, that would soon take her life.  They were also able to share the gospel and pray with the family.  Over the next few days the chaplain continued to lovingly share the Love and message of Jesus Christ and before she was discharged home, Abiba, her aunt and cousin placed their trust in Christ.

When Abiba returned home she was met by a local pastor who had been contacted by the hospital chaplain.  Too weak to go to church, the church came to her, discipled her and ministered to her needs.  Four weeks later the pathology report was sent to HBB, indicating that Abiba had Burkitt Lymphoma—an agressive, yet treatable cancer.  Since the family had no phone, the pastor was contacted and sent to tell the family she she must quickly reutrn to HBB for treatment.  After several days, when there was still no sign of her at the hospital, the pastor was called once again.  Returning to Abiba’s family, he discovered that they had no money to return to HBB for médical care.  When we heard of this, money was quickly donated to cover the transportation and médical expense to treat Abiba.

She got wheeled into the hospital as a pile of skin and bones.   I knew that she was likely too sick to start chemotherapy treatment, but it was also her only chance of survival.  Everything was explained to Abiba and her aunt and treatment was started. 

Surviving the first round of treatments was a great encouragement to everyone.  It was a joy to see her smile and be able to pray and encourage her in her new faith in Christ.  Unfortunately when it came time for round two, she did not show up to the hospital.  Once again, the pastor was contacted and donations were given to transport Abiba to the hospital—this time alone.   Her aunt could not come due to another sick member of the family and the decision was made for the hospital to temporarily “adopt” Abiba.   She stayed with a well-known woman at our “cuisine” and money for food was donated.  On days that she was strong enough, she eagerly asked to go to church services.  She became a part of our hospital family.

Sadly, after her third cycle of chemotherapy she became very weak and had signs that the cancer was advancing despite our best efforts.  Her family was notified to come see her if they wanted to say good-bye.  Our chaplains discussed her condition to her, making sure that she knew that God loved her and that a lack of healing was not because of her lack of faith, nor a lack of Love on the part of Christ.  He loved her fully and completely and she would soon be spending her days in the arms of her Savior.

The day after her family arrived, they decided to take her home.  She was not fully conscious and very weak.  I kissed her on the forehead and prayed softly with her as her ailing body lay across the taxi.  As I cried I told her family that I was sorry, but that I was crying for myself and my loss and not hers—for she would be meeting her Savior today.  Our Chaplain, Pastor Jeremy, then prayed with the family members and they left.

We received word later that day that Abiba had gone to be with the Lord during the journey home.  And while my heart ached for the loss, the Holy Spirit reminded me that he had done a great work in her and allowed her to live long enough to experience the Love of Jesus Christ alongside a family of believers. 

Pray that her life and testimony continue to work in the lives of her family. 

Rejoice that the Lord’s work is being accomplished here in Togo through HBB.

Praise God that His Word and Truth bring Hope to a world in need!

“O death, where is your victory?
 O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

*Thanks to Donna Larson for her contributions to this blog.

1 YEAR: How did I get here?

March 31^st marked my 1 year anniversary in Togo.  In some ways it seems silly to mark a 1 year anniversary because, well…it’s only “1”.  In light of so many missionaries who have come before me and even those with whom I serve alongside marking 20, 25+ years on the field, “1” seems silly.   But of course, to get to 20, you must pass through 1.

Like any anniversary it causes someone to pause and look back and what has been accomplished (or what hasn’t been accomplished).  And it’s only natural to think about how I got here in the first place. 

The only answer to explain how I got here is God, and His hand of orchestration and direction.  But a more specific answer to how I got here:  a break up. 

I wasn’t planning on coming to Togo, and honestly, I wasn’t planning on doing missions until after I had done a Pediatric Heme/Onc fellowship, gotten married and found someone to do job sharing with me, so that I could split my time between the US and somewhere overseas.  That was the plan.  THE Plan.  MY plan.  I had no doubts about this plan, and I was sure that God approved of my plan as well.   Why wouldn’t God approve of this marvelous plan?

Oh how to look back and read our own foolish minds!  Sigh

My retrospective 20/20 vision allows me to see that although there was nothing evil or sinful about THE Plan, it wasn’t HIS plan.  And if I had been honest with myself and the Lord, I would’ve admitted that sooner.  Because years before, I had been to a medical missions conference and knew that God told me to ‘GO’.   It wasn’t a secret. He didn’t hide this plan from me.  It was clear—very clear.

But as time goes on, so starts the bargaining process.  “I will go, but AFTER my fellowship.”  “I will go, but as a frequent short-term missionary.” “Of course I will go, but only when ‘he’ is ready.” 

There is a Parable in Luke 14 called “The Parable of the Great Banquet” where a man invited many friends to a great banquet but they all gave excuses involving the cares of the world and wouldn’t come.  So the man told his servant to go out to the streets and invite the poor, the lame, the blind and anyone else who would come. 

Jesus is addressing the Pharisees and is referring to the kingdom of God, but I think the parable applies to any situation where the Lord invites us, or calls us, to be a part of His ministry and we find excuses to go our own way.

Sometimes the Lord allows us to go our own way, follow our own Plan for quite some time.  And sometimes, in His great mercy, he breaks our Plans…. breaks our Spirit even, in order to show us a better Way—His Way….HIS Plan.

The Lord gently did this for me through the break up of a relationship.  It was quick, unexpected, unwelcomed, and painful.   But even before the dust of my heart had settled, He showed me the Path that I had stepped off of in efforts to pursue my Plan and not His own.  And He gently said, “I don’t want you to wait 10 years to go overseas.  That may be the plan I gave Him, but I told you to go NOW.”

There is nothing wrong with relationships.  There isn’t anything sinful about pursuing further training in a career.  There is only sin in disobedience.  And it is possible to pursue Good Things and build relationships with Godly people while being disobedient, if it isn’t what the Lord asked you to do. 

So when God saw in my heart that I was more willing to follow another person than I was the plan God had already given me, it was time to step in.

It just so happened that the following week was the Global Mission Health Conference in Louisville, KY—a conference I had attended for the past 6 years—the conference where God had shown me clearly that I was to be a medical missionary.

And on the last day of the conference, as all the booths were shutting down, a friend mentioned Samaritan’s Purse and their Post-Residency Program.  I ran back to find their booth and a wonderful lady was there packing up materials.  I asked for an application and the rest is history, as they say.

The following year, at the same conference, I had already been accepted into the program and two representatives from ABWE Togo took me to lunch and told me about what the Lord was doing in Togo, and the vision they had for the Word of Christ to reach those who needed Him both physically and spiritually.  I walked away from that lunch knowing right then that I was moving to this small West African country.

I would love to say that every single day here has been amazing, and most of them are.  But, there are days that are extremely tiring, lonely, and discouraging.  Still, every day here is a GIFT and a reminder that His Plan is always the BEST plan if we are seeking His Will and His Name to be known among ALL people.  I wouldn't trade this last year for anything.

Many of you have been with me through this entire process and I cannot say enough about the impact you are having on my life and the lives of the Togolese—from prayer to financial support, e-mails, cards and packages.  A huge THANK YOU to Jeremy and Karrisa Wilson who came to visit and work her for 2 weeks, Monika (my roommate from Switzerland) who spent her 3 week vacation here visiting, along with my parents who were willing to travel on Christmas Day in order to come out and see me!  Thank you to Sojourn, my home church, and the community groups there that are always praying for me and helping take care of my Louisville life.  And thanks to all of my friends and family who have always encouraged me to follow Christ, even if it means moving half-way around the world. The list can go on and on.  So Happy 1 year Anniversary to…..YOU, and your willingness in joining the Lord’s work in Togo!  

I miss you all greatly but, may this be the first of many more Togo anniversaries to come. 

REAL. LIFE.

Yesterday I sent a 2.5 year old little girl with cancer home to die.  I explained to her hopeful parents that I didn't have the treatment for her disease and that she would die....soon.  I told them it would be the most painless for her if they stopped going to the hospital for transfusions and she was allowed to drift off to sleep gradually from severe anemia.  The parents understood and were discharged home.

I tell you this not to bring up the heart felt emotions that we have while watching TV commercials showing starving African children who look up at the screen, eliciting enough guilt about a Western lifestyle to generate a $20 donation.  I tell you this because it's real life.

There will be no bake sales or t-shirts or dinner's out to raise money for her treatment.  No 'Make-a-Wish Foundation trip to Disneyland, hospital gown with balloons or colored picture of family hanging on the walls.

There will be no photoshop image of her on this blog and I won't be sharing her name.  This might make it easier to allow her story to slip into the abyss of statistics that plague the countries of Africa but honestly, if we need pictures and dramatic music backgrounds to move our hearts for the poor and the dying, what does that say about us? About me?

My question to anyone reading this blog is: "What would you have said?"

What would you have said to this girl, to this family?
Maybe, "She has an incurable disease."
That's not really true.  Her disease is likely quite curable if she was born in a developed country.

Some of you reading this may not believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, as The Savior.  Some may not agree with the fact that our hospital delivers both healthcare and the Gospel message.  Some have said "Religion doesn't belong in 'charity' work."

Stop. Pause. Reflect.

It was a crushing moment to speak with this family and send this girl home.  Whether you claim Jesus as Savior or not, all of us, staring into her big brown eyes long to cry out "LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!"

And it's not.

"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned--for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law.  Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!  Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification.  For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.  Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men." _ Romans 5:12-18

Death reigns because sin entered the world.  And the only Hope to break the power of death is HOPE in Jesus Christ who accomplished what we could not do for ourselves.

I could not give this family Hope in any physical thing: not me as her doctor, not medications, not a witch-doctor.  There is ONLY ONE who has conquered the grave and He is the only one in whom we can place our HOPE.

Truth is, even if I could treat this little girl's cancer, she will still die one day.  And the real point is that we all have a cancer growing inside of us...called sin.  Good works and deeds to "out-weigh" this cancer of sin is akin to drinking a lot of orange juice hoping that our leukemia will disappear.  The consequence of sin, just like cancer, is certain death.

.........

You won't remember this girl or her story a year from now.  And by the end of this week we'll spend more time over our Saturday night plans for entertainment than we will lifting up this girl and her family in prayer.

Just. Honesty.

I'm not going to tell you about the rest of the conversation I had with her family.  I invite YOU to have the conversation with her family in your mind, in your heart.

What should be our response?

What will be your response?

-K.