Berna's Journey- Part 2 (finally!)

Berna’s Journey- Part 2

(Sorry for the long delay)

Stepping off the plane with Berna on my back, I was looking forward to the ambulance that would be waiting for us on the other side of customs.  Berna seemed less and less responsive and I was relieved to be in country.  Handing our passports over to customs I was immediately told, “you don’t have a visa.”  I explained our situation, in tears, and told him of our urgency to get to the hospital.

“You need a visa.”

Frustration, scared and tired I was brought to a room to buy our visas.  I couldn’t help but feel that precious time was slipping away.  But finally, after getting our luggage we stepped out into the meeting area and saw……no one.  No ambulance, no representative from the charity organization, no one.   Suddenly a small Ehtiopian woman walked up to me and said, “Are you waiting for someone?  I think he was here but then had to leave because the plane was late.”

I broke down crying, “She needs to go to the hospital.  I think she is going to die.”

A group of three Ethiopians were now with us and one of them quickly offered their cell phone to me.  I called the doctor that was awaiting us and he told me he would have the ambulance sent right away.   After hanging up, one of the men said, “are you trying to go to Korean hospital?”  I said yes.  He then said, “Let’s go. I will take you.”  Through my tears I told him that I had no Ethiopian money with me and couldn’t pay him.  “No problem,” he said, “She needs to go now.”

Praise Jesus!!

We finally arrived to Korean hospital around 11pm and I was fully expecting the doctor to take Berna to the OR immediately to have a shunt placed.  This way, after a couple days in Ethiopia she could still go to the U.S. and have her tumor removed by the team awaiting her in Louisville. 

After some initial lab tests, we met the attending physician who took a look at her MRI (imaging of her brain done in Togo) and said to me, “I cannot put in a shunt.”

My heart dropped.

My dear Jesus, Berna is going to die here in Ethiopia without her family.

“So what are you telling me?”

He proceeded to explain to me that putting a shunt in could result in a part of her brain being pushed upwards through  her skull and would kill her.  He then told me that he was going to take out her tumor—thus performing the surgery she was supposed to have done in Louisville.

You might think that this was good news, but in fact, it was terrifying news to me.  Here is a surgeon that I know nothing about, in a hospital I have never been to, and I have to agree to let Berna undergo a very delicate operation on her brain that could kill her.  But without it, she would surely die as well. 

I was forced to give over any last sense of control that I was trying to maintain, and give Berna over to the Lord.  He had orchestrated all things up to this point, and it was time to decide whether I trusted Him or not.  Berna’s mother had to hand her daughter over to me and I was being forced to hand Berna over to this stranger.  We all were giving Berna over into the hands of the Savior, trusting in His plan for her life and/or her death.

Berna’s surgery was gong to take place in 6 hours.  She was in and out of consciousness and her moments awake were spent screaming in pain and hitting her head until Morphine could be given to calm her.  We slept next to one another in the Emergency Room waiting for morning.  Around 5 am she had a seizure, but it thankfully stopped after only a minute.  I passed the hours praying incessantly and singing worship songs softly in Berna’s ear.  

They finally came to take Berna to the OR.  There is no way to say good-bye to someone you love when you think it may be the last time seeing them.  It was a hard glimpse into what I ask my patient’s families to do every day.  There was such a peace the Lord gave me during that waiting time.  I found that I wasn’t scared or worried because I knew The Great Physician was in control. 

After arriving to the ICU

I was able to be there when she came out of the OR and into the ICU.  And although it wasn’t really allowed, I stayed with her in her bed all night long (which turned out to be quite necessary because issues with a national resident doctor that was caring for her during the night).  After two very sleepless nights (for me) in the ICU, she was moved to a private room.  It had been an exhausting 72 hours and although I was thrilled that Berna was now in her own room, I realized that I now had the full-time care of a 4 year-old girl who didn’t speak my language and visa versa.

As Berna got better and better each day, things actually became more and more difficult for us.  She was becoming fully aware that her family was not around, she wanted Togolese food and she wanted the medications to be OVER!  Sadly, I couldn’t explain these things to her and my own resources were limited—I couldn’t leave her alone to go by taxi to a grocery store and I didn’t even know what she wanted if I could go!  Thankfully the Lord provided in BIG ways each time I felt like I couldn’t quite make it.  One day when I was quite tired, hungry and stressed out a group of doctors came in the room.  As they were introducing themselves I look passed one of them only to see Ed Boss, a familiar face and friend I had met in Thailand a few years passed!!  He was in Ethiopia at this same hospital working on setting up a Pathology lab.  I started crying when I saw him and gave him a big hug.   It was such an overwhelming, unexpected comfort to have someone I knew standing in front of me. Later in the week a wonderful missionary brought us some bread, butter, fruit and other meals that were an amazing blessing.  (butter became a very important means of getting Berna to stop crying! :-)  )Her Neurosurgeon kept us supplied with great yogurt and chocolate.  

We spent many hours watching
movies to pass the time.
Winnie the Pooh's Grand Adventure
was a favorite!

During the last days of our stay Berna would spend about 4-5 hours in a row crying and screaming in her mother tongue that she wanted to go home.  She would pack her suitcase, put on her shoes and stand at the door pleading with Jesus—literally.  It both broke my heart and mended it at the same time; two weeks ago she was hours away from death and I was pleading with the Lord to save her, and now she is crying out for the Lord to save her with her own voice, longing to go home.  I would back her in the African way and we would spend the night walking laps around the hospital and singing praise songs.  When she would fall asleep on my back I would just crawl into bed, leaving her on my back until the next morning.  Graciously, during the last weekend of our stay my friend and fellow SP missionary Stephanie Hall was in Addis to pick up her mom.  Stephanie speaks Amharic and knows her way around the city, so we were able to venture out of the hospital and give Berna (and me) a break from hospital life!  I will never be able to repay Stephanie for what she did for us at a very stressful time.

The Pariko family

Flying home!

Our journey home was much very different than the journey there.  Berna colored and slept for the majority of the journey.  We were both very excited to put our feet on Togo soil.  The reunion with her family was so very sweet.  The pastor from her church also met us at the airport.  Berna sat down next to her sister pointing to all the little scars left on her hands from all the IVs.

Unfortunately, about 36 hours after arriving home Berna came to the hospital with CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) leaking from an incision on her head.  This was very discouraging and required us going to the Operating room right away to try and plug the hole (basically).   I had to do several days in a row of taking out fluid by inserting a needle through her back so that the pressure in her head could stay low while the patch in her head healed.   Once again we were all back on our knees in prayer.  After a 10 day stay in the hospital, through the Lord’s intervention, the pressure in Berna’s head subsided and she went home.

I wish I could go through all the ups and downs, encouragements and discouragements, spelling out how God provided even in the midst of struggle and difficulty—but that blog would take more pages that most are willing to read.  The point of this blog, this story, is to highlight our weaknesses and to exemplify the amazing power of our Savior Jesus Christ, His plan for us, and our worship back to Him.

Dr. Safi- Berna's awesome Neurosurgeon!

Thank you to each and every person who had a role in Berna’s journey—doctor’s, Healing the Children, Dr. Safi (neurosurgeon who performed the operation), Stepahnie Hail, and the countless number of people who lifted us up in prayer day after day.  There aren’t enough ways express our thanks and appreciation. 

BERNADETTE's JOURNEY- Part 1

By now, many of you have heard of Bernadette, our 4 yo Togolese girl came into HBB 5 weeks ago with vomiting and fever and headache.  While these symptoms are the norm for most of our kids with malaria, her headache pain went beyond normal.  Our suspicions were verified after an emergent MRI in the capitol city revealed a large mass in the back of her brain.  Radiologist in the US were consulted immediately and all agreed that the mass was most likely a pilocytic astrocytoma--a benign tumor.

Unfortunately the location and size of the tumor was pushing again other structures and making it difficult for the fluid in her brain to exit.  This was causing the fluid chambers in her head to get bigger and bigger, resulting in dangerous pressures in her head.

She was started on some medication immediately to try and keep swelling down in her head while we tried to find her a place to go for intervention.  There were many barriers in the way to finding her adequate treatment quickly, since Neurosurgery is for the most part, not available in Togo.

The two options pursued were to find a hospital either in the US or neighboring Ghana willing to take her case.  We committed to following leads fully with both options, until one was clear.  And although it would seem much easier and obvious to send her to Ghana, the Lord kept opening doors for Berna to go to the US.  The hospital I trained at, Kosair Children's Hospital was willing to take the case pro bono, led by the efforts of Neurosurgeon Dr. Ian Mutchnick.  All the other hospital teams that would be needed for her care also volunteered their services.  A charitable organization, Healing the Children (HTC), offered to pay for travel and living expenses. Even obtaining her nationality (something just in Togo), passport, and visa took place in a reasonable amount of time.  It was quite evident the the Lord was sending Berna to Louisville, KY for help.

Plane tickets were booked and plans were made for me to travel with Berna to Addis Ababa on Oct 31st.  We were going to stay for two nights so that a representative from HTC, who was already in Ethiopia, could take her through to the US.  Up until this point, Berna had been able to stay out of the hospital by taking regular meds at home.  Then 2 days before departure, she began having severe pain once again and was admitted to HBB.  It was evident that her health was deteriorating, but she was stable and we were going ahead with the plan since it was her only chance of survival.

We left to spend the night in Lome, the capitol, in preparation to leave the next morning.  Her mom had said a courageous good-bye at the hospital, not knowing if she would see her daughter again.  Berna's pain was harder and harder to control and as she spent the night with me in my room, I passed the hours pleading that the Lord would save her while keeping my hand on her chest waiting to feel the cessation of movement.   I questioned whether or not we should take the flight.  Was I being selfish to take the risk of Berna spending her last moments alive on an airplane instead of in the arms of her loving parents?  What would I do if she died on the plane?  How would she survive the journey to the US without a nurse or doctor with her?

The next morning doubts filled my heart and mind.  But each time I thought about canceling our trip, it seemed like I was saying to the Lord, "I don't trust you."  He had guarded her life up to this point, and orchestrated so many amazing people and avenues for Berna.  I sent some e-mails and let everyone know that I was unsure if Berna would make it alive to the states and plans were made to take her to a hospital in Ethiopia for a smaller operation that could stabilize her so that she could complete her journey to the US. It seemed like I would touch Berna's head and say to her, "Hold on!" while at the same time the Lord would put his hand forth on my head and say, "Hold on!"

I backed her in the African style and we worked our way through the airport.  I got a lot of strange looks as the "Yovo" carrying around a Togolese girl on my back, but my focus was elsewhere.  We took our place at the gate and waited....and waited....and waited.  While time was of the essence, our flight was delayed by over 2 hours.  I sat praying and people-watching, wondering what other people where thinking about.  I'm sure business people would be late for meetings, reuniting families would have to wait, and vacations would be temporarily post-poned.  As everyone was getting more agitated and frustrated all I could think was "Your life will go on.  Late or early, your overall life will go on after this, never to be thought of again.  This girl in my arms is holding on for her life."

We eventually departed for Ethiopia.  I layed Berna down in her seat, head against the window and feet in my lap.  She would never remember this part of her journey nor conceive of the distance we were traveling.  No one would speak her language where we were headed, not even me.  Nor would she recognize the food, the people or even the weather!  She just had to make it there.

Hold on Berna.
Hold on Kelly.

HBB NICU

Meet Samuel and Ezekiel! 











These little ones are our two newest preemies that have been around for the last few weeks.  They were born at 32 and 29 weeks respectively and have been doing great!  Both moms have been very faithful in caring for these little ones as they must stay at the infant’s bedside each day and can’t return home due to breast-feeding.  It can be a very long and tiring process that is often discouraging.  We try and give the moms small ways of showing them that their little ones are moving towards going home.

Often our premature infants, they struggle with something called NEC (Necrotizing Enterocolitis), which is where the gut gets infected.  NEC is somewhat of a mystery in the neonatology world and new recommendations are coming out all the time as to how to prevent it.  One way is to make sure that babies get breast-milk.  Strangely, although all our babies are receiving breast-milk, the occurrence of NEC remains a top reason that our preemie babies don’t make it home.  The Lord has been gracious in keeping our two little ones NEC free so far, so please pray that this continues!

I am also currently in talks with some helpful people in the states regarding TPN. This is where our tiniest babies could receive nutrition through their IV while we slowly advance how much milk they can take each day.  Currently, we just have fluid with sugar and salt which doesn’t provide the proteins and fats that they need to grow well.  Pray that we might find a solution that is both accessible and affordable for the Togolese.

Update photo on Akou (Ruth), our smallest preemie!

Please also be in prayer as to how you might be able to help these families with premature infants.  They often have to stay a month or more in the hospital, which is almost always beyond their financial means.  We work hard on providing great care while limiting the amounts of labs and radiology in order to keep cost down, but caring for these little ones takes a lot of resources!  A benevolence fund exists here at HBB to help families like those of Samuel and Ezekiel pay for the cost of care without depleting the families of all of their resources.  We also accept knitted or crocheted hats for these little ones!

Many of you have also been joining me in prayers regarding a little girl named Bernadette who was discovered to have a brain tumor.   So far the Lord has kept her as well as possible and we wait to see if her best option for care would be either in Ghana or in the United States.   We have some awesome people working very hard to pursue all possibilities to find her the best care in the quickest amount of time.   Please continue to pray, as either option will require a lot of resources, time and energy.  I am currently looking into both options equally and seeking the Lord’s direction in where he would have her go.   A trip to the states would require that she travel without her parents, and stay with a host family that will not speak her language.  I know the Lord already has plans in place that will glorify and lift up the name of Christ.  Pray that we might have peace regarding this truth as with trudge through the seas of seeking medical care.

Thanks to all of you who continue to partner with me in ministry through prayer, encouragement, visits, and your continued Love.

Intercession

      

So this is actually the second attempt at writing this blog post.  The first attempt gave said that I came to Kenya for a conference and that things went well, etc, etc. It was somewhat of a boring list of happenings.  All of it was true of course, but somewhat lifeless.  I am, in fact, here in Kenya at a retreat/conference for all of the Samaritan’s Purse staff that works in and for Africa.  It’s a time to get together and be encouraged and see what the Lord is doing throughout the continent.  I have to confess, though, that during the majority of the conference, my head was involved, but my heart was just…..not.   I met amazing people who were doing great things with the Lord’s help.  We heard amazing talks and messages from God’s Word that filled with Spirit and Truth.  I even got the chance to give a short story/testimony to the work that God is doing in Togo at the hospital, and in me personally.  But still, at the end of the day I felt…….flat, unmoved, and far away.  I couldn’t tell you when I started to feel this way, although I knew it had started before my arrival in Kenya—disenchantment with my work at the hospital, an inability to connect with my patient’s suffering, becoming frustrated easily. 

 On the second to last day of the conference I went to a workshop that took us through a look at the parallels between the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt in the promise land, with Jesus’ life and ministry in the New Testament.  Although I had read these passages many times, the Lord was speaking to me anew as if to remind me personally, “Kelly, I haven’t done anything by accident, and my plan for my people carries on today.”  I had then realized that I had given up reading of His Word for the purpose alone of meeting with the Lord.  I had been doing “studies” and readings in order to be able to give devotions on my scheduled day at the hospital and reading books about great Theologians of the past.  But reading about Christ and experiencing Him are not the same.  I had been exchanging my time for building a relationship with Him for gaining head knowledge about Him and had not even realized it.  

        

The very last day of the conference the Lord graciously reminded me of the love I have for Him and the perfect love He has for me.   The theme of the conference was “Taste and See that the Lord is Good.”  A pastor gave us a great reminder that the Lord’s goodness is well translated as the Lord’s generosity.   He is waiting for us, as children of God, to ask for the things we’re lacking—love, patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, self-control.  “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” Luke 11:13

In the evening a pastor from Kenya spoke on the passing on of the baton from Elijah to Elisha in 2 Kings, and the choice we have to pursue the work of the Lord or to sit by at watch others carry on the calling.  It was a message of renewal and reminder for me; that I want to go the distance and finish the race at a finish line that He has drawn. 

I went to dinner that night (tonight actually, as I’m writing this) having a renewal and awakening of Christ in me.   During dinner a fellow Samaritan’s purse worker pulled up a chair and sat beside me.  I had seen him throughout the week but never met him or spoke with him before this point.  In fact, he was teaching one of the break-out sessions that I did not have an opportunity to attend.   He said hello to me, of course, and said that although he didn’t really know me, the Lord had burdened his heart to pray for me all during the conference.  He said, “I don’t think I have the gift of intercession, but the Lord continued to put you on my heart throughout our days here.” 

I was quite overwhelmed; that the Lord would speak to this stranger to intercede on my behalf, before the Lord, during the days that I was not able speak to the Lord myself.  I proceeded to thank the gentleman for his encouragement and prayer.  I told him some struggles I had come across in Togo.  Afterwards he said, “I think this is the real you right now.  At the start of the conference it wasn’t the real you.  It just took a few days for you to get here.”

Wow.  What am amazing God we serve!  That the inner struggle within my own Spirit was revealed to a fellow believer apart from all human communication, so that my heart could once again shine with the love of the Lord.  What mercy and grace He has for us!  This is the Lord whom we serve and the reason we have for continuing the work, HIS work, throughout the world.  

To HIM be all glory, honor, and power forever. Amen.

Akou is Home

August began bitter-sweet when on the 10^th, one day before her 4^th month birthday, we sent Akou home to live with her family.  The day was much anticipated by her mother who had sat attentively at her bedside for 122 days, awaiting the fate of her premature little girl.  She had more than doubled her birth-weight, was taking all of her feeds by bottle and no longer had any reason for an IV.  As I celebrated with her family and the hospital staff, I realized that this little fighter had become a part of our family as well.  Gathering around the scale each day, holding our breath to see how many grams she had gained or lost, became part of our morning ritual.  We were all united in hope and prayer that the Lord would somehow provide care that was beyond our resources…….and He did.

 Akou left the hospital weighing 1320 grams.  Her lowest weight during her hospitalization was 630 grams.  She was never on a ventilator, never received any IV nutrition and left the hospital requiring only 3 medications (2 of which were vitamin supplements).

Although I am sometimes sad to look in the corner of the Pediatrics Ward and see an empty isolette, I am quickly reminded that the emptiness is a sign that she is home and thriving.   While we often have empty beds in the Pediatrics Wards due to death, the Lord, in His mercy and grace, chose to show His power through Akou.

 As I have previously mentioned, infants here don’t get named until the family feels confident that the infant will survive.  Initial names are given that are based on the day of the week the child was born (Akou is for a girl born on a Wednesday).  I had often asked Akou’s mom when she was going to give her a name.  Often she would just smile and shake her head.  So naturally, when I saw her a few days after she was discharged from the hospital, my first question was “What is her name?!”

Ruth.

I’m not sure if she will ever be anything but Akou to me.  But in the Old Testament, Ruth was a symbol of loyalty, kindness, and redemption—what a true testimony to what God has already done for her in her life thus far!  Please continue to pray for Ruth and the future the Lord has in store for her.   Thank you for being a part of her journey and interceding on her behalf in prayer.  Let us praise the Lord together for what He has done so that His glory may be known in many nations today!

Grace and Peace

kelly

Mes Amies

Stories from the medical mission field are often about the people whom we are trying to serve in the home country.  But there are many players involved that help make the work here possible: the national workers, long-term missionaries, support staff, and short- termers.  

I was blessed to live with a short-term missionary, Amanda, for my first few months here in Togo.  She is a Physicians Assistant from Wisconsin who quit her job as a Neurosurgical PA to come out and help the team here for 4 and-a-half months. Despite having a fiancée at home and a wedding to plan, she gave her heart each day to the patients here at HBB, sharing the love and peace of Christ.  Affectionately known as "Mama Amanda" in our house, she proved to be the most responsible person in the house, despite being the youngest! Not only that, but she became such a dear friend and blessing to me during her time here. One can never under-estimate the power of listening ear, an encouraging word, or just someone to laugh or cry with.   She taught me fun lessons, like how to make homemade bread and yogurt (which I’m now addicted to!) as well as more serious lessons like how to listen and take time with patients regardless of how long the day has been.   I will miss her greatly, but know that the Lord has other plans for her life.  I know that she will be spreading the Good News of the Gospel no matter what country she is in, but pray that we will be able to meet again soon this side of heaven.

Having fun being silly with Mama Amanda in the chair!

Our Togo team was also blessed to have 9 students from Master’s College in California come out and volunteer for 6 weeks.  The team took on the daunting challenge of re-organizing our storage house of supplies, which was LONG overdue (they even found a few items that were older than the hospital itself!).  They were also able to follow the medical team in the hospital and tackle many personal projects for various missionaries.   The team was an amazing encouragement, always joyful while they served in less-than-glamorous ways.   Please continue to pray for the team as many of them have expressed interest in future overseas missions.  There is a lot of time and distraction in-between college and getting to the mission field.  Pray that each one may follow the call that the Lord has for them.

Master's Team girls, Amanda on my right, Rhonda on my left (hospital midwife), roommate Susanna next to Amanda

Last, but not least, my dear friend Monika who I lived with in Switzerland, was able to come out and stay with me for 3 weeks in July.  The Lord had blessed me beyond what I could have expected through our friendship during language school.  Her willingness to share her life and home with me made my time in Switzerland a time of fellowship beyond just attending language school.   When she told me she was coming to visit, I was overwhelmed by her continued support in my journey.  She was able to experience a lot of “firsts” while in Togo, especially in the areas of foods! And despite coming for vacation and relaxation, she was a huge help in the area of translation at the hospital and nursing school.   The visit was a true blessing from a friend who had already been such a vital part of my journey in getting to Togo, and it was exciting to get to share the ministry with her.

From Left: Susanna, Amie (my roommates), Monika and Me in Lome, Togo

Please know that so many of you are a huge of the ministry here, even though you are far away.  Many of you sacrifice finances, time, and energy in supporting me here in Togo and it doesn’t go unrecognized.  I never feel alone here because there are so many of you praying for me, sending e-mails and encouragements constantly.  Your involvement makes my ministry here possible, so thank you!!

Grace and Peace
Kel

Our little peanut

The month of June passed without me knowing it!  Life at the hospital and here in Togo has become my “norm” and I have settled into a routine.  I am constantly amazed at the variety of illnesses I see here, and find myself waist high in textbooks trying to find the best way to diagnose and treat without the labs and medications I am used to having.  It is very challenging and refreshing to actually give things over into God’s hands and watch him work as The Great Physician. 

Many of you have already heard about Akou through facebook.  For those who don’t know, Akou is a 26-week-old premature infant who was born at home and brought into the hospital at about 3 hours of life and weighed 1 pound 6 ounces. The first miracle is that she was alive, period.  A 26-week infant born in the US is normally put onto a ventilator immediately, or at least some intense support to help the baby breath.  We don’t have these abilities at HBB, so we put her on a nasal canula, as well as antibiotics and another medicine that helped her remember to breath.  Then we prayed. 

During the first 2 days, she stopped breathing twice and required chest compressions.  After day 3, she showed herself as a true fighter and hasn’t required any major interventions since.  We didn’t have a way to provide adequate nourishment through an IV (called TPN) so we slowly ( SLOWLY) started feeding her.   After many weeks of minimal growing, she started picking up weight.  We were able to find a food scale so that we could weigh her in grams and know exactly how much she was gaining each day.  Many of us gather around the small scale each morning to see how many grams she has gained.  

Today she is 90 days old and weighs about 2 lbs 3 ounce.  We are praising the Lord for each and every gram.  We celebrated her “1000 gram” weight achievement with chocolate chip cookies (poor Akou only got more breast milk) J. Her faithful mother has stayed with her the whole time, despite having two other children to take care of.  Her dad is able to visit every few weeks and is always so joyful to be able to hold her.   She is the smallest infant we have ever had survive for this long at HBB.   Please pray that the Lord would graciously continue to guard her life and protect her small body from infection and feeding difficulties.   Please also pray for her family, especially her mom, who has patiently stayed by her bedside all this time.  And of course, pray that her survival may be a testimony, to all who see her, of how the Lord has knit us together for His purposes, He cares for us, and He desires us to grow in Him.

sweet Akou with a little smile for you

Thanks to each one of you who have joined me on this journey in so many ways.  Your support, prayers and encouragement reach further than you realize.  

Grace and Peace.

Kel