"Where O death is your Victory? Where O death is your sting?"

Abiba, a 15 year old orphaned Muslim girl, along with her aunt and cousin, arrived at HBB in mid-January.  From a Small village 3 hours north of the hospital, they heard about HBB from a mobile médical team that had gone to their village.  When Abiba developed a mass in her abdomen, they knew HBB was where they should go.

Abiba’s inital assessment and diagnostic testing indicated she had an ovarian tumor requiring surgery.  Once in the operating room, the surgeon found that her abdomen was actually full of metastatic cancer.  A large tumor was removed and sent out to a Michigan pathologist who processes our spécimens for free.

After the surgery, one of our full-time missionaries along with one of our chaplains met with Abiba and her family members.  They gently, yet thoroughly explained the seriousness of her prognosis, metastatic ovarian cancer, that would soon take her life.  They were also able to share the gospel and pray with the family.  Over the next few days the chaplain continued to lovingly share the Love and message of Jesus Christ and before she was discharged home, Abiba, her aunt and cousin placed their trust in Christ.

When Abiba returned home she was met by a local pastor who had been contacted by the hospital chaplain.  Too weak to go to church, the church came to her, discipled her and ministered to her needs.  Four weeks later the pathology report was sent to HBB, indicating that Abiba had Burkitt Lymphoma—an agressive, yet treatable cancer.  Since the family had no phone, the pastor was contacted and sent to tell the family she she must quickly reutrn to HBB for treatment.  After several days, when there was still no sign of her at the hospital, the pastor was called once again.  Returning to Abiba’s family, he discovered that they had no money to return to HBB for médical care.  When we heard of this, money was quickly donated to cover the transportation and médical expense to treat Abiba.

She got wheeled into the hospital as a pile of skin and bones.   I knew that she was likely too sick to start chemotherapy treatment, but it was also her only chance of survival.  Everything was explained to Abiba and her aunt and treatment was started. 

Surviving the first round of treatments was a great encouragement to everyone.  It was a joy to see her smile and be able to pray and encourage her in her new faith in Christ.  Unfortunately when it came time for round two, she did not show up to the hospital.  Once again, the pastor was contacted and donations were given to transport Abiba to the hospital—this time alone.   Her aunt could not come due to another sick member of the family and the decision was made for the hospital to temporarily “adopt” Abiba.   She stayed with a well-known woman at our “cuisine” and money for food was donated.  On days that she was strong enough, she eagerly asked to go to church services.  She became a part of our hospital family.

Sadly, after her third cycle of chemotherapy she became very weak and had signs that the cancer was advancing despite our best efforts.  Her family was notified to come see her if they wanted to say good-bye.  Our chaplains discussed her condition to her, making sure that she knew that God loved her and that a lack of healing was not because of her lack of faith, nor a lack of Love on the part of Christ.  He loved her fully and completely and she would soon be spending her days in the arms of her Savior.

The day after her family arrived, they decided to take her home.  She was not fully conscious and very weak.  I kissed her on the forehead and prayed softly with her as her ailing body lay across the taxi.  As I cried I told her family that I was sorry, but that I was crying for myself and my loss and not hers—for she would be meeting her Savior today.  Our Chaplain, Pastor Jeremy, then prayed with the family members and they left.

We received word later that day that Abiba had gone to be with the Lord during the journey home.  And while my heart ached for the loss, the Holy Spirit reminded me that he had done a great work in her and allowed her to live long enough to experience the Love of Jesus Christ alongside a family of believers. 

Pray that her life and testimony continue to work in the lives of her family. 

Rejoice that the Lord’s work is being accomplished here in Togo through HBB.

Praise God that His Word and Truth bring Hope to a world in need!

“O death, where is your victory?
 O death, where is your sting?”

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 1 Corinthians 15:55-57

*Thanks to Donna Larson for her contributions to this blog.

1 YEAR: How did I get here?

March 31^st marked my 1 year anniversary in Togo.  In some ways it seems silly to mark a 1 year anniversary because, well…it’s only “1”.  In light of so many missionaries who have come before me and even those with whom I serve alongside marking 20, 25+ years on the field, “1” seems silly.   But of course, to get to 20, you must pass through 1.

Like any anniversary it causes someone to pause and look back and what has been accomplished (or what hasn’t been accomplished).  And it’s only natural to think about how I got here in the first place. 

The only answer to explain how I got here is God, and His hand of orchestration and direction.  But a more specific answer to how I got here:  a break up. 

I wasn’t planning on coming to Togo, and honestly, I wasn’t planning on doing missions until after I had done a Pediatric Heme/Onc fellowship, gotten married and found someone to do job sharing with me, so that I could split my time between the US and somewhere overseas.  That was the plan.  THE Plan.  MY plan.  I had no doubts about this plan, and I was sure that God approved of my plan as well.   Why wouldn’t God approve of this marvelous plan?

Oh how to look back and read our own foolish minds!  Sigh

My retrospective 20/20 vision allows me to see that although there was nothing evil or sinful about THE Plan, it wasn’t HIS plan.  And if I had been honest with myself and the Lord, I would’ve admitted that sooner.  Because years before, I had been to a medical missions conference and knew that God told me to ‘GO’.   It wasn’t a secret. He didn’t hide this plan from me.  It was clear—very clear.

But as time goes on, so starts the bargaining process.  “I will go, but AFTER my fellowship.”  “I will go, but as a frequent short-term missionary.” “Of course I will go, but only when ‘he’ is ready.” 

There is a Parable in Luke 14 called “The Parable of the Great Banquet” where a man invited many friends to a great banquet but they all gave excuses involving the cares of the world and wouldn’t come.  So the man told his servant to go out to the streets and invite the poor, the lame, the blind and anyone else who would come. 

Jesus is addressing the Pharisees and is referring to the kingdom of God, but I think the parable applies to any situation where the Lord invites us, or calls us, to be a part of His ministry and we find excuses to go our own way.

Sometimes the Lord allows us to go our own way, follow our own Plan for quite some time.  And sometimes, in His great mercy, he breaks our Plans…. breaks our Spirit even, in order to show us a better Way—His Way….HIS Plan.

The Lord gently did this for me through the break up of a relationship.  It was quick, unexpected, unwelcomed, and painful.   But even before the dust of my heart had settled, He showed me the Path that I had stepped off of in efforts to pursue my Plan and not His own.  And He gently said, “I don’t want you to wait 10 years to go overseas.  That may be the plan I gave Him, but I told you to go NOW.”

There is nothing wrong with relationships.  There isn’t anything sinful about pursuing further training in a career.  There is only sin in disobedience.  And it is possible to pursue Good Things and build relationships with Godly people while being disobedient, if it isn’t what the Lord asked you to do. 

So when God saw in my heart that I was more willing to follow another person than I was the plan God had already given me, it was time to step in.

It just so happened that the following week was the Global Mission Health Conference in Louisville, KY—a conference I had attended for the past 6 years—the conference where God had shown me clearly that I was to be a medical missionary.

And on the last day of the conference, as all the booths were shutting down, a friend mentioned Samaritan’s Purse and their Post-Residency Program.  I ran back to find their booth and a wonderful lady was there packing up materials.  I asked for an application and the rest is history, as they say.

The following year, at the same conference, I had already been accepted into the program and two representatives from ABWE Togo took me to lunch and told me about what the Lord was doing in Togo, and the vision they had for the Word of Christ to reach those who needed Him both physically and spiritually.  I walked away from that lunch knowing right then that I was moving to this small West African country.

I would love to say that every single day here has been amazing, and most of them are.  But, there are days that are extremely tiring, lonely, and discouraging.  Still, every day here is a GIFT and a reminder that His Plan is always the BEST plan if we are seeking His Will and His Name to be known among ALL people.  I wouldn't trade this last year for anything.

Many of you have been with me through this entire process and I cannot say enough about the impact you are having on my life and the lives of the Togolese—from prayer to financial support, e-mails, cards and packages.  A huge THANK YOU to Jeremy and Karrisa Wilson who came to visit and work her for 2 weeks, Monika (my roommate from Switzerland) who spent her 3 week vacation here visiting, along with my parents who were willing to travel on Christmas Day in order to come out and see me!  Thank you to Sojourn, my home church, and the community groups there that are always praying for me and helping take care of my Louisville life.  And thanks to all of my friends and family who have always encouraged me to follow Christ, even if it means moving half-way around the world. The list can go on and on.  So Happy 1 year Anniversary to…..YOU, and your willingness in joining the Lord’s work in Togo!  

I miss you all greatly but, may this be the first of many more Togo anniversaries to come. 

REAL. LIFE.

Yesterday I sent a 2.5 year old little girl with cancer home to die.  I explained to her hopeful parents that I didn't have the treatment for her disease and that she would die....soon.  I told them it would be the most painless for her if they stopped going to the hospital for transfusions and she was allowed to drift off to sleep gradually from severe anemia.  The parents understood and were discharged home.

I tell you this not to bring up the heart felt emotions that we have while watching TV commercials showing starving African children who look up at the screen, eliciting enough guilt about a Western lifestyle to generate a $20 donation.  I tell you this because it's real life.

There will be no bake sales or t-shirts or dinner's out to raise money for her treatment.  No 'Make-a-Wish Foundation trip to Disneyland, hospital gown with balloons or colored picture of family hanging on the walls.

There will be no photoshop image of her on this blog and I won't be sharing her name.  This might make it easier to allow her story to slip into the abyss of statistics that plague the countries of Africa but honestly, if we need pictures and dramatic music backgrounds to move our hearts for the poor and the dying, what does that say about us? About me?

My question to anyone reading this blog is: "What would you have said?"

What would you have said to this girl, to this family?
Maybe, "She has an incurable disease."
That's not really true.  Her disease is likely quite curable if she was born in a developed country.

Some of you reading this may not believe in Jesus Christ as your Savior, as The Savior.  Some may not agree with the fact that our hospital delivers both healthcare and the Gospel message.  Some have said "Religion doesn't belong in 'charity' work."

Stop. Pause. Reflect.

It was a crushing moment to speak with this family and send this girl home.  Whether you claim Jesus as Savior or not, all of us, staring into her big brown eyes long to cry out "LIFE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY!"

And it's not.

"Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned--for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law.  Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who was a pattern of the one to come. But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God's grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many!  Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man's sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification.  For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.  Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men." _ Romans 5:12-18

Death reigns because sin entered the world.  And the only Hope to break the power of death is HOPE in Jesus Christ who accomplished what we could not do for ourselves.

I could not give this family Hope in any physical thing: not me as her doctor, not medications, not a witch-doctor.  There is ONLY ONE who has conquered the grave and He is the only one in whom we can place our HOPE.

Truth is, even if I could treat this little girl's cancer, she will still die one day.  And the real point is that we all have a cancer growing inside of us...called sin.  Good works and deeds to "out-weigh" this cancer of sin is akin to drinking a lot of orange juice hoping that our leukemia will disappear.  The consequence of sin, just like cancer, is certain death.

.........

You won't remember this girl or her story a year from now.  And by the end of this week we'll spend more time over our Saturday night plans for entertainment than we will lifting up this girl and her family in prayer.

Just. Honesty.

I'm not going to tell you about the rest of the conversation I had with her family.  I invite YOU to have the conversation with her family in your mind, in your heart.

What should be our response?

What will be your response?

-K.

Berna's Journey- Part 2 (finally!)

Berna’s Journey- Part 2

(Sorry for the long delay)

Stepping off the plane with Berna on my back, I was looking forward to the ambulance that would be waiting for us on the other side of customs.  Berna seemed less and less responsive and I was relieved to be in country.  Handing our passports over to customs I was immediately told, “you don’t have a visa.”  I explained our situation, in tears, and told him of our urgency to get to the hospital.

“You need a visa.”

Frustration, scared and tired I was brought to a room to buy our visas.  I couldn’t help but feel that precious time was slipping away.  But finally, after getting our luggage we stepped out into the meeting area and saw……no one.  No ambulance, no representative from the charity organization, no one.   Suddenly a small Ehtiopian woman walked up to me and said, “Are you waiting for someone?  I think he was here but then had to leave because the plane was late.”

I broke down crying, “She needs to go to the hospital.  I think she is going to die.”

A group of three Ethiopians were now with us and one of them quickly offered their cell phone to me.  I called the doctor that was awaiting us and he told me he would have the ambulance sent right away.   After hanging up, one of the men said, “are you trying to go to Korean hospital?”  I said yes.  He then said, “Let’s go. I will take you.”  Through my tears I told him that I had no Ethiopian money with me and couldn’t pay him.  “No problem,” he said, “She needs to go now.”

Praise Jesus!!

We finally arrived to Korean hospital around 11pm and I was fully expecting the doctor to take Berna to the OR immediately to have a shunt placed.  This way, after a couple days in Ethiopia she could still go to the U.S. and have her tumor removed by the team awaiting her in Louisville. 

After some initial lab tests, we met the attending physician who took a look at her MRI (imaging of her brain done in Togo) and said to me, “I cannot put in a shunt.”

My heart dropped.

My dear Jesus, Berna is going to die here in Ethiopia without her family.

“So what are you telling me?”

He proceeded to explain to me that putting a shunt in could result in a part of her brain being pushed upwards through  her skull and would kill her.  He then told me that he was going to take out her tumor—thus performing the surgery she was supposed to have done in Louisville.

You might think that this was good news, but in fact, it was terrifying news to me.  Here is a surgeon that I know nothing about, in a hospital I have never been to, and I have to agree to let Berna undergo a very delicate operation on her brain that could kill her.  But without it, she would surely die as well. 

I was forced to give over any last sense of control that I was trying to maintain, and give Berna over to the Lord.  He had orchestrated all things up to this point, and it was time to decide whether I trusted Him or not.  Berna’s mother had to hand her daughter over to me and I was being forced to hand Berna over to this stranger.  We all were giving Berna over into the hands of the Savior, trusting in His plan for her life and/or her death.

Berna’s surgery was gong to take place in 6 hours.  She was in and out of consciousness and her moments awake were spent screaming in pain and hitting her head until Morphine could be given to calm her.  We slept next to one another in the Emergency Room waiting for morning.  Around 5 am she had a seizure, but it thankfully stopped after only a minute.  I passed the hours praying incessantly and singing worship songs softly in Berna’s ear.  

They finally came to take Berna to the OR.  There is no way to say good-bye to someone you love when you think it may be the last time seeing them.  It was a hard glimpse into what I ask my patient’s families to do every day.  There was such a peace the Lord gave me during that waiting time.  I found that I wasn’t scared or worried because I knew The Great Physician was in control. 

After arriving to the ICU

I was able to be there when she came out of the OR and into the ICU.  And although it wasn’t really allowed, I stayed with her in her bed all night long (which turned out to be quite necessary because issues with a national resident doctor that was caring for her during the night).  After two very sleepless nights (for me) in the ICU, she was moved to a private room.  It had been an exhausting 72 hours and although I was thrilled that Berna was now in her own room, I realized that I now had the full-time care of a 4 year-old girl who didn’t speak my language and visa versa.

As Berna got better and better each day, things actually became more and more difficult for us.  She was becoming fully aware that her family was not around, she wanted Togolese food and she wanted the medications to be OVER!  Sadly, I couldn’t explain these things to her and my own resources were limited—I couldn’t leave her alone to go by taxi to a grocery store and I didn’t even know what she wanted if I could go!  Thankfully the Lord provided in BIG ways each time I felt like I couldn’t quite make it.  One day when I was quite tired, hungry and stressed out a group of doctors came in the room.  As they were introducing themselves I look passed one of them only to see Ed Boss, a familiar face and friend I had met in Thailand a few years passed!!  He was in Ethiopia at this same hospital working on setting up a Pathology lab.  I started crying when I saw him and gave him a big hug.   It was such an overwhelming, unexpected comfort to have someone I knew standing in front of me. Later in the week a wonderful missionary brought us some bread, butter, fruit and other meals that were an amazing blessing.  (butter became a very important means of getting Berna to stop crying! :-)  )Her Neurosurgeon kept us supplied with great yogurt and chocolate.  

We spent many hours watching
movies to pass the time.
Winnie the Pooh's Grand Adventure
was a favorite!

During the last days of our stay Berna would spend about 4-5 hours in a row crying and screaming in her mother tongue that she wanted to go home.  She would pack her suitcase, put on her shoes and stand at the door pleading with Jesus—literally.  It both broke my heart and mended it at the same time; two weeks ago she was hours away from death and I was pleading with the Lord to save her, and now she is crying out for the Lord to save her with her own voice, longing to go home.  I would back her in the African way and we would spend the night walking laps around the hospital and singing praise songs.  When she would fall asleep on my back I would just crawl into bed, leaving her on my back until the next morning.  Graciously, during the last weekend of our stay my friend and fellow SP missionary Stephanie Hall was in Addis to pick up her mom.  Stephanie speaks Amharic and knows her way around the city, so we were able to venture out of the hospital and give Berna (and me) a break from hospital life!  I will never be able to repay Stephanie for what she did for us at a very stressful time.

The Pariko family

Flying home!

Our journey home was much very different than the journey there.  Berna colored and slept for the majority of the journey.  We were both very excited to put our feet on Togo soil.  The reunion with her family was so very sweet.  The pastor from her church also met us at the airport.  Berna sat down next to her sister pointing to all the little scars left on her hands from all the IVs.

Unfortunately, about 36 hours after arriving home Berna came to the hospital with CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) leaking from an incision on her head.  This was very discouraging and required us going to the Operating room right away to try and plug the hole (basically).   I had to do several days in a row of taking out fluid by inserting a needle through her back so that the pressure in her head could stay low while the patch in her head healed.   Once again we were all back on our knees in prayer.  After a 10 day stay in the hospital, through the Lord’s intervention, the pressure in Berna’s head subsided and she went home.

I wish I could go through all the ups and downs, encouragements and discouragements, spelling out how God provided even in the midst of struggle and difficulty—but that blog would take more pages that most are willing to read.  The point of this blog, this story, is to highlight our weaknesses and to exemplify the amazing power of our Savior Jesus Christ, His plan for us, and our worship back to Him.

Dr. Safi- Berna's awesome Neurosurgeon!

Thank you to each and every person who had a role in Berna’s journey—doctor’s, Healing the Children, Dr. Safi (neurosurgeon who performed the operation), Stepahnie Hail, and the countless number of people who lifted us up in prayer day after day.  There aren’t enough ways express our thanks and appreciation. 

BERNADETTE's JOURNEY- Part 1

By now, many of you have heard of Bernadette, our 4 yo Togolese girl came into HBB 5 weeks ago with vomiting and fever and headache.  While these symptoms are the norm for most of our kids with malaria, her headache pain went beyond normal.  Our suspicions were verified after an emergent MRI in the capitol city revealed a large mass in the back of her brain.  Radiologist in the US were consulted immediately and all agreed that the mass was most likely a pilocytic astrocytoma--a benign tumor.

Unfortunately the location and size of the tumor was pushing again other structures and making it difficult for the fluid in her brain to exit.  This was causing the fluid chambers in her head to get bigger and bigger, resulting in dangerous pressures in her head.

She was started on some medication immediately to try and keep swelling down in her head while we tried to find her a place to go for intervention.  There were many barriers in the way to finding her adequate treatment quickly, since Neurosurgery is for the most part, not available in Togo.

The two options pursued were to find a hospital either in the US or neighboring Ghana willing to take her case.  We committed to following leads fully with both options, until one was clear.  And although it would seem much easier and obvious to send her to Ghana, the Lord kept opening doors for Berna to go to the US.  The hospital I trained at, Kosair Children's Hospital was willing to take the case pro bono, led by the efforts of Neurosurgeon Dr. Ian Mutchnick.  All the other hospital teams that would be needed for her care also volunteered their services.  A charitable organization, Healing the Children (HTC), offered to pay for travel and living expenses. Even obtaining her nationality (something just in Togo), passport, and visa took place in a reasonable amount of time.  It was quite evident the the Lord was sending Berna to Louisville, KY for help.

Plane tickets were booked and plans were made for me to travel with Berna to Addis Ababa on Oct 31st.  We were going to stay for two nights so that a representative from HTC, who was already in Ethiopia, could take her through to the US.  Up until this point, Berna had been able to stay out of the hospital by taking regular meds at home.  Then 2 days before departure, she began having severe pain once again and was admitted to HBB.  It was evident that her health was deteriorating, but she was stable and we were going ahead with the plan since it was her only chance of survival.

We left to spend the night in Lome, the capitol, in preparation to leave the next morning.  Her mom had said a courageous good-bye at the hospital, not knowing if she would see her daughter again.  Berna's pain was harder and harder to control and as she spent the night with me in my room, I passed the hours pleading that the Lord would save her while keeping my hand on her chest waiting to feel the cessation of movement.   I questioned whether or not we should take the flight.  Was I being selfish to take the risk of Berna spending her last moments alive on an airplane instead of in the arms of her loving parents?  What would I do if she died on the plane?  How would she survive the journey to the US without a nurse or doctor with her?

The next morning doubts filled my heart and mind.  But each time I thought about canceling our trip, it seemed like I was saying to the Lord, "I don't trust you."  He had guarded her life up to this point, and orchestrated so many amazing people and avenues for Berna.  I sent some e-mails and let everyone know that I was unsure if Berna would make it alive to the states and plans were made to take her to a hospital in Ethiopia for a smaller operation that could stabilize her so that she could complete her journey to the US. It seemed like I would touch Berna's head and say to her, "Hold on!" while at the same time the Lord would put his hand forth on my head and say, "Hold on!"

I backed her in the African style and we worked our way through the airport.  I got a lot of strange looks as the "Yovo" carrying around a Togolese girl on my back, but my focus was elsewhere.  We took our place at the gate and waited....and waited....and waited.  While time was of the essence, our flight was delayed by over 2 hours.  I sat praying and people-watching, wondering what other people where thinking about.  I'm sure business people would be late for meetings, reuniting families would have to wait, and vacations would be temporarily post-poned.  As everyone was getting more agitated and frustrated all I could think was "Your life will go on.  Late or early, your overall life will go on after this, never to be thought of again.  This girl in my arms is holding on for her life."

We eventually departed for Ethiopia.  I layed Berna down in her seat, head against the window and feet in my lap.  She would never remember this part of her journey nor conceive of the distance we were traveling.  No one would speak her language where we were headed, not even me.  Nor would she recognize the food, the people or even the weather!  She just had to make it there.

Hold on Berna.
Hold on Kelly.

HBB NICU

Meet Samuel and Ezekiel! 











These little ones are our two newest preemies that have been around for the last few weeks.  They were born at 32 and 29 weeks respectively and have been doing great!  Both moms have been very faithful in caring for these little ones as they must stay at the infant’s bedside each day and can’t return home due to breast-feeding.  It can be a very long and tiring process that is often discouraging.  We try and give the moms small ways of showing them that their little ones are moving towards going home.

Often our premature infants, they struggle with something called NEC (Necrotizing Enterocolitis), which is where the gut gets infected.  NEC is somewhat of a mystery in the neonatology world and new recommendations are coming out all the time as to how to prevent it.  One way is to make sure that babies get breast-milk.  Strangely, although all our babies are receiving breast-milk, the occurrence of NEC remains a top reason that our preemie babies don’t make it home.  The Lord has been gracious in keeping our two little ones NEC free so far, so please pray that this continues!

I am also currently in talks with some helpful people in the states regarding TPN. This is where our tiniest babies could receive nutrition through their IV while we slowly advance how much milk they can take each day.  Currently, we just have fluid with sugar and salt which doesn’t provide the proteins and fats that they need to grow well.  Pray that we might find a solution that is both accessible and affordable for the Togolese.

Update photo on Akou (Ruth), our smallest preemie!

Please also be in prayer as to how you might be able to help these families with premature infants.  They often have to stay a month or more in the hospital, which is almost always beyond their financial means.  We work hard on providing great care while limiting the amounts of labs and radiology in order to keep cost down, but caring for these little ones takes a lot of resources!  A benevolence fund exists here at HBB to help families like those of Samuel and Ezekiel pay for the cost of care without depleting the families of all of their resources.  We also accept knitted or crocheted hats for these little ones!

Many of you have also been joining me in prayers regarding a little girl named Bernadette who was discovered to have a brain tumor.   So far the Lord has kept her as well as possible and we wait to see if her best option for care would be either in Ghana or in the United States.   We have some awesome people working very hard to pursue all possibilities to find her the best care in the quickest amount of time.   Please continue to pray, as either option will require a lot of resources, time and energy.  I am currently looking into both options equally and seeking the Lord’s direction in where he would have her go.   A trip to the states would require that she travel without her parents, and stay with a host family that will not speak her language.  I know the Lord already has plans in place that will glorify and lift up the name of Christ.  Pray that we might have peace regarding this truth as with trudge through the seas of seeking medical care.

Thanks to all of you who continue to partner with me in ministry through prayer, encouragement, visits, and your continued Love.

Intercession

      

So this is actually the second attempt at writing this blog post.  The first attempt gave said that I came to Kenya for a conference and that things went well, etc, etc. It was somewhat of a boring list of happenings.  All of it was true of course, but somewhat lifeless.  I am, in fact, here in Kenya at a retreat/conference for all of the Samaritan’s Purse staff that works in and for Africa.  It’s a time to get together and be encouraged and see what the Lord is doing throughout the continent.  I have to confess, though, that during the majority of the conference, my head was involved, but my heart was just…..not.   I met amazing people who were doing great things with the Lord’s help.  We heard amazing talks and messages from God’s Word that filled with Spirit and Truth.  I even got the chance to give a short story/testimony to the work that God is doing in Togo at the hospital, and in me personally.  But still, at the end of the day I felt…….flat, unmoved, and far away.  I couldn’t tell you when I started to feel this way, although I knew it had started before my arrival in Kenya—disenchantment with my work at the hospital, an inability to connect with my patient’s suffering, becoming frustrated easily. 

 On the second to last day of the conference I went to a workshop that took us through a look at the parallels between the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt in the promise land, with Jesus’ life and ministry in the New Testament.  Although I had read these passages many times, the Lord was speaking to me anew as if to remind me personally, “Kelly, I haven’t done anything by accident, and my plan for my people carries on today.”  I had then realized that I had given up reading of His Word for the purpose alone of meeting with the Lord.  I had been doing “studies” and readings in order to be able to give devotions on my scheduled day at the hospital and reading books about great Theologians of the past.  But reading about Christ and experiencing Him are not the same.  I had been exchanging my time for building a relationship with Him for gaining head knowledge about Him and had not even realized it.  

        

The very last day of the conference the Lord graciously reminded me of the love I have for Him and the perfect love He has for me.   The theme of the conference was “Taste and See that the Lord is Good.”  A pastor gave us a great reminder that the Lord’s goodness is well translated as the Lord’s generosity.   He is waiting for us, as children of God, to ask for the things we’re lacking—love, patience, kindness, compassion, mercy, self-control.  “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” Luke 11:13

In the evening a pastor from Kenya spoke on the passing on of the baton from Elijah to Elisha in 2 Kings, and the choice we have to pursue the work of the Lord or to sit by at watch others carry on the calling.  It was a message of renewal and reminder for me; that I want to go the distance and finish the race at a finish line that He has drawn. 

I went to dinner that night (tonight actually, as I’m writing this) having a renewal and awakening of Christ in me.   During dinner a fellow Samaritan’s purse worker pulled up a chair and sat beside me.  I had seen him throughout the week but never met him or spoke with him before this point.  In fact, he was teaching one of the break-out sessions that I did not have an opportunity to attend.   He said hello to me, of course, and said that although he didn’t really know me, the Lord had burdened his heart to pray for me all during the conference.  He said, “I don’t think I have the gift of intercession, but the Lord continued to put you on my heart throughout our days here.” 

I was quite overwhelmed; that the Lord would speak to this stranger to intercede on my behalf, before the Lord, during the days that I was not able speak to the Lord myself.  I proceeded to thank the gentleman for his encouragement and prayer.  I told him some struggles I had come across in Togo.  Afterwards he said, “I think this is the real you right now.  At the start of the conference it wasn’t the real you.  It just took a few days for you to get here.”

Wow.  What am amazing God we serve!  That the inner struggle within my own Spirit was revealed to a fellow believer apart from all human communication, so that my heart could once again shine with the love of the Lord.  What mercy and grace He has for us!  This is the Lord whom we serve and the reason we have for continuing the work, HIS work, throughout the world.  

To HIM be all glory, honor, and power forever. Amen.