When you first visit Mango, Togo you can’t help but notice the sky. The flat landscape and noticeable lack of surrounding trees make the sky appear vast and ever-changing. Foreboding storms in June, the smoky, sand-filled skies of January, the crystal clear November night skies showing off stars that hint at galaxies far away—it’s hard to keep from looking up.
Yesterday evening, a visiting nurse and I pulled chairs out into our guesthouse parking lot at 2am to watch the Gemanie meteor shower. I was already awake for a night-shift, and Josie set her alarm for the event. Missed sleep was no match for shooting-stars and a bowl of popcorn enjoyed in the chilly night air. I decided to download a star-gazing app on my phone to find new constellations and congratulate myself on ones I already knew: Orion, Cassiopeia, Ursa Major.... I confidently held up my phone to the Southern Cross and no little lines connected the 4 stars. I thought it strange, but moved on to others: Leo, Virgo, Pegasus.... I went back to the Southern Cross, assured now that the app was working correctly, and still...nothing. The app allows you to click on individual stars, which I did: “Epsilon Carinae” I read, “also known as Avior”. As I began to read aloud, “one of four starts that makes up the Asterism known as the False Cross. This is often mistaken for the Southern Cross causing errors in astronavigation.”
I’m sorry.....what?!?!
I realize it sounds ridiculous, but I was floored. Disappointed. Embarrassed. I had not only spent 4 years believing that was the Southern Cross, but also spent four years telling other people it was the Southern Cross! (my apologies if you are one of those people). I had spent the last four years, time stamping an event, a moment, that was based in something false. (those who know the enneagram, I’m a 5w6 so you can imagine my horror J) I hadn’t truly spent the time to ever find out if what I saw was interpreted correctly. I had no reason to believe it wasn’t the Southern Cross since I didn’t even know about the False Cross.
In medicine we say that the most dangerous providers are those who don’t know what they don’t know. People who aren’t even aware of the knowledge they are missing. It’s one thing to know you have deficiencies, so you can go find answers when you don’t have them, or surround yourself with people who have different expertise than you. That’s called wisdom. When we can’t even imagine there is information we are missing, and assume we are already adequately informed, it borders on foolishness.
2020 has left its toll on us all, but in many ways we are very shielded here in Togo, and most of my angst or frustration comes from reading the news or Twitter feeds. I have friends and family across the spectrum of political standings and COVID opinions. My own sending church is probably just as blue as it is red. One of the most concerning aspects of watching things play out from three-thousand miles away, I’ve realized, is the rhetoric coming from fellow beleivers:
“Real Christians vote for ______”
“You can’t be a Christian and support ________”
“Loving Jesus means wearing _________”
“If Jesus were here he would _________”
I’ve read countless articles written by theologians with as much training in Biblical interpretation as I have in medical training. I want to acknowledge and give respect to them and their education. At the same time, Christ has given all believers the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit meant to reveal His Word to us for every good work. While there are clear biblical teachings about how every Christ follower should act, the “do’s” and “don’ts” of the Bible are to be a reflection (good or bad) of our understand of Christ and who He is. But I think anyone who has been a believer for any length of time is able to look back and say, “wow! I’m so glad I have grown in my understanding of ________”, or “I’m so thankful that the Lord has moved in my heart so that I no longer desire _________.” But it would be a shame for any of us to look back on our walk and think “I probably wasn’t even a Christian before I was as spiritually mature as I am now.” We are hopefully moving closer to Christ with each season that passes as He walks us through the valleys and mountain tops of life. We are becoming no Church at all if we look at others on the road behind us and think “they probably don’t follow Jesus at all.” Or rather, if we look at those ahead of us and think, “maybe I am not a follower of Jesus since I don’t seem to be as far along as him/her.”
A mature believer could probably look back and label things they believe about God now, that they didn’t know before. They didn’t necessarily seek out the knowledge, because they didn’t know it was even missing! But the Lord brought them through a situation that made it abundantly clear that they lacked the knowledge or wisdom to respond well. Maybe the Lord brought someone alongside to teach them. Maybe life itself was crushing and they began to understand the Lord’s deliverance in a whole new way.
I am frightened as I watch the Church mark out who is or isn’t part of the Church using open-hand issues that have to do with (possibly) being early in a spiritual walk, a preference, or an issue that the Bible does not speak to directly. I would love to challenge everyone to reflect on whether we are fixing our eyes on a False Cross. Is there something that seems righteous, or un-righteous, to you that you have held up as a marker of, not only your faith in Christ, but as a marker for someone else? Is it a political party, a policy, an organization? Are we holding up False Crosses that are deciding our fate, or rather, holding our identity as children loved by the Almighty God? Can you only follow the command “love your neighbor as yourself” if she socially distances inside and out? Could you wear a mask in order to spend time with a friend who is fearful? Can lockdowns both save the life of an elderly woman, and be the direct cause of a child starving on the other side of the world? Can we be thankful a child thrives in online learning with a family blessed with enough income to weather the storm, while grieving another who commits suicide from isolation? What if the Lord appointed both Trump and Biden in their respective times to bring about His plan for our country, whatever that may be?
Are we willing to evaluate if the Lord is using the year 2020 to reveal to us the False Crosses in our lives? These are things that seem honorable and true, but in fact, are imitations of a Gospel Truth that centers on Christ crucified and resurrected. Remember: Christ’s perfect life for your sinful heart. Christ sanctifying your over time until His return. Christ + nothing = Salvation because salvation is determined by His work, not mine. His grace. His love.
I learned that Cassiopeia and the Southern Cross can’t ever be seen in the night sky together. If I had known this, I would’ve known that I was seeing a False Cross all these years. What is something being held up in your sky that is keeping Jesus from sharing the same space in your life? Something may seem worthy and true, but is actually a shadow of truth instead, and keeping Jesus from being the center.
CS Lewis said, “The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ.”
And while that quote is true, that handing over your whole self is almost impossible—it is worth it. In the end, there is only one true Cross, and as Christ reminds us, “It is finished”. We don’t need to add to the message of the cross or speak for Christ where he has not spoken. As we move towards the celebration of Christ being sent to us on this Earth, let the only message we have as Christians be: You can’t be a Christian if you don’t know Christ, so let me introduce Him to you.......
